**Mustard Seed Distributed**

This is Jesus. Be with me. Trust. In all His wisdom. Splendor and Majesty. Jesus. Listen. King. What is a king? Who is your king? Jesus. Jesus. Listen. Will you listen? Always and Forever. Will you listen? With me. To the Lord. Jesus. Listen. King. What is this? It is my kingdom. What do you see? With my eyes? Listen. Jesus. King. Sold for a price. Bartered for your life. Jesus. King. Listen

Today brings much joy in that after school today, we are officially on Christmas break. It has been a challenging fall as you may well know. But God continues to strengthen me. It is amazing that we are 'so dull' as Jesus asked his disciples while they actually lived with him in community and proximity and experienced his humility in person leading up to his ultimate sacrifice: "Are you so dull?" "Do you still not understand?" When I spend time reading the Word, when I ask God for forgiveness, when I ask the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, the light shines on my path. It opens my eyes to the path I should go down as opposed to the path I want to go down. Just as it says in Acts 14: '...strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God," they said." It is hard to go down the well lit path. It is counter cultural - just like Jesus' teachin...

This is a message that came to me today as I walked up the flights and flights of stairs. At the school, I am located on the 4th floor. I never use the elevator, I always walk the stairs (although it was challenging today after so dang many squats in my workout yesterday), and as of late, I have been 'running' the stairs. Not the andrews way of running as if I were practicing for the run up the empire state building, but quickly taking each step instead of the slow walk. But I digress. The teachers gave me a gift card to starbucks, complete with my new middle name/nickname that 'blast off' gave me. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Starbucks. Joy overwhelms me in the fact that a - they know me; b - the card said 'thank you for keepin' it REAL'; c - people get you gifts because they are thankful (i.e. - I am making a difference); and d - I get to enjoy starbucks. But that's not even what this post is about. If I had a ritalin salt lick today, ...

This fall has been a challenge to me, I'm not going to lie. Working in a new position that I was so very excited about has turned into challenges I did not expect, and more difficult than I envisioned the work being. Losing your mother doesn't seem to be a pleasant experience to me thus far, either. Living in a city that I have grown to love also wears on your spirit in so many ways. The 'grind' never had this meaning as I lived in MI, my guess is that that term was developed here in nyc, as this city does tend to grind on you. This is not a negative nelly post, but reality. Working in a school that was at one point identified as the one that I might open in a quite challenging environment is not necessarily my idea of joy to my spirit. But this is what I have learned this week -----AGAIN. (Insert Capital Duh.) Life sucks. There are 'powers and principalities' in control of this world that we live in, and that blows also. Evil has crept into the crevi...

It's really not just my daughter. All three of the kelly girls are pretty much amazing to me. Superstar helped with the pta holiday bazaar today at Liv's school. As I walked in, there were literally at least 100 people milling about, enjoying each other, buying some things for christmas, or not, and it was a great time to just chill and see some of the kids' friends' parents. If I can write it like that. It was fabulous. Superstar worked very hard to provide not just a fun day and community building, but to serve others before herself. And Alli's dance studio was there to perform some selections for the crowd. Out of the 9 people that are in her junior dance company, she was the only one to show up. When the studio head asked her about being the only one, and if alli would be ok dancing by herself - her answer: 'sure'. She is such a beautiful young lady. I am so proud of her, and watching her dance today was beautiful. She is a special person in ...

Humility is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things to live out and demonstrate in your daily life. It means you make yourself nothing. You lower yourself to a position where every single other person in the world is more important than you. It is so hard for me to be humble and to live out humility. But here's the rub. It's not hard for me with people that demonstrate gratitude. It's not hard for me with people that are appreciative, or thank you for your humility. It's hard for me when people are completely oblivious to you providing an act of humility for them. Which is really quite stupid on my part. Because humility doesn't mean that the other person(s) notices or is thankful. When Jesus was nailed to the cross and took my afflictions and my sin upon himself (by the by, he took yours and everyone else's as well), he wasn't ticked off with me that I didn't appreciate it. He still loved me and sought me out. That's where my current s...

It is really wild to me to think that I started this blog three years ago (yesterday - get off my back man, I was too busy yesterday goign to bed early to write anything!) Three years ago, I really felt like God was calling me to do something BIG. And I didn't really know what that really meant, or what was really going to happen with it all. But I have learned the last three years that God calls me to trust in him today. Even on my blogiversary. Today I sit in my apartment in Brooklyn, NY. I have left friends and family and great people back in Michigan. I look out and watch the planes headed to LaGuardia. I read the New York Times on the weekends. I go to work on the subway. I take the Brooklyn Bridge when I go to our gatherings on Sunday. I get to meet with pastor on a regular basis, and we do it in places like the new park overlooking lower Manhattan, the Pig'n Whistle Bar, Times Square, the Gemini Diner, Prospect Park, Central Park, UWS, along the East River, or...

It is sometimes a challenge to listen to the world around you. Why? Because you are focused on your selfish little world. Yesterday, I took some time to just sit and listen to God while I was on the train, and leading up to a planning meeting I attended. God really just spoke to me, and it seems simple. Sit down. Shut up. Listen. Those are very simple simon easy weasy. And yet, we idiots - I mean humans - don't take the time to do that. Here are the questions that I heard: Where is your treasure? Where is your heart? Do they match? What are you looking at? What do you see? Who is your master? Where is your worry? How can you be made salty again? What do you need to accomplish that? Do others see your light shining? Tough questions to listen to. Even tougher answers to wrestle with. So today, I strive to figure out the answers to these questions. And my selfish broken human condition continues to get in the way of my answers and my thinking. Last week, I had a vision...

Tomorrow, it will be 41 years of life for T$, and there have been many days and events that certainly could have led to my death. God for some reason continues to provide me with the breath of life, and in the era of Thanksgiving, I am thankful that God continues to bless me. Time off of work comes when I really need it, and I am thankful that I get to work with some great people. This week, I really feel as if God opened my eyes to enjoying the moment at work. I am really trying to engage with staff members, and it is making each day more enjoyable. In my struggles with some challenging situations in my work world, there are four people that I really am extra grateful. One is pastor. I am thankful that he chooses to pour time into my and my spiritual well being. He doesn't have to do that, but he chooses to. There are certainly others that have a greater need, but he spends time with me to be sure that I am challenging myself and that my soul is in the right place. Thank you ...

Even though I am not with my superstar for her bday today, her life has been on the tip of my heart all day today. She is the jewel in my crown that God has put into my life forever. I have loved her since before we ever even dated, and I knew then that she was something special. Little did I know just how special she would become to me. My life has changed since engaging in the power of relationship with my superstar. My life has done absolutely nothing but improve since the day she put her hand on my leg at Four Green Fields so many years ago. I would not be half the man I am today if it weren't for my superstar. Probably not even a quarter if we are being real about it. She challenges me. She inspires me. She loves me when I don't deserve it. SHe serves me each and every day. Did I mention that she is absolutely HOT and gets HOTTER every day? Moving to Brooklyn has given us an opportunity (at least in my thoughts) to become closer than we ever have been before. ...

I mentioned in the last post that I am experiencing a 'new normal', and I find it quite interesting that in some discussion with pastor, that he passed on a podcast that I so needed to hear. I have been wrestling with some issues at work. Some painful. Some questions that I can't answer. Some issues that are complex and conflicting that don't make a lot of sense to me. I am fully aware that 'I do not work for men, but for God.' This phrase from the bible has been so helpful to me as this year continues to unfold. As I traveled to Michigan to be with my dad, more issues with work unfolded. And I was livid. Felt attacked. Did not feel as if though I was being heard. And I wanted to strike back as I felt my character, commitment, and work ethic were all being put into question. Hurts donut. Onto the podcast - if you don't know who Greg Boyd is, you need to start listening, reading, something with his words and insight into our Creator. He continues...

Another challenging week. Another overwhelming sense that things are not right in this world today. I feel that I am handling and dealing with the death of my mother quite well, at least as well as a 'normal' person should be able to. The word normal doesn't seem the same to me anymore. Death happens each day in this world. But when it is someone that has a profound effect on your world, normal changes. This weekend, I get to spend some time with my dad and be at their house. Normal is not the same in this house now, and don't take this as being sad or negative, it is just different. The way life is different forever now, the way my sense of normal has changed, the way odd things will bring rushing memories of my mom, or simply remind me of the fact she is not with us anymore. As I sat on the upper west side last week watching a play with pastor and cramden, the character had cancer. Thoughts of my mom's cancer. The character needed to be helped to a couc...

I work for a charter school management organization. I believe in what we do. But this week, I got to see the movie Waiting for Superman . You don't have to work for charter schools to see it. And you really should see it. We know that our education system is not successful. We know what we need to do to fix it. And yet, people are not willing to stop the madness and fix the system so that children ALL get a quality education. Just go see it. Listen to the facts. Then respond to this question: "What am I going to do about it?" Superman lives. We don't need to wait for him anymore.

I was certainly overwhelmed with the love and community of my broseph's friends throughout the passing of my mother. He lives outside of Phatlanta, and many of his friends and colleagues made the trek to MI to honor my brother and my mother in a difficult time. Here is a reflection that a chum shared with many that is certainly a gift to me, and hopefully to you: Reflections The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork .Psalm 19:1 (ESV) Have you ever stood before a majestic sunset in total awe of its beauty? As you stood there were you mesmerized by the sheer magnitude if its hues? I recently had the honor to attend a celebration of life for a dear friend’s mother who had gone to be with the Lord. This celebration was unlike any I had witnessed. Yes there was sadness in the loss of a mother, wife, mother in law, grandmother, sister and friend but the sadness was displaced by the glory of God. You see, this saint and her family loved Christ. T...

This last week certainly reminded me not only of the beauty of my mother, but the beauty of who my father is. I certainly would fight with anyone that is under the incorrect assumption that they have/had the best parents in the world because I win that argument every time. Sorry bout your luck. Watching my father care for my mother in her final days was also a thing of beauty. He shared more stories with us this last week than I have heard from him in a long long time. I am just like my dad in that area. People may be confused on who I am - most would thing that I am an extrovert. But I'm not. I'm actually more of an introvert, and that continues to be enhanced as I get older. Anywho-my dad doesn't always go out of his way to speak to others. He is often quiet. I recall superstar wondering when we first started dating if our family ever talked. But the last week, he shared beautiful stories of he and mom, of their dating, of their early days, of all the times th...

It has been a week since the death of my mother. A week ago right now, I was going on 14 minutes of sleep knowing that my mom had made her transition to heaven. That day brought many emotions for certain. A lot of sadness and grief knowing that she was gone from this world. Sadness in knowing that I would never again hear the sweet sound of my mother's voice calling my name from somewhere off in the distance. Knowing that my children would no longer run from here to there shouting "GRANDMA!" as I have so many times seen them do with such joy in their hearts. Knowing that I would never again on this earth see Hon and Hon holding each other. Kissing. Making each other laugh. This doesn't seem like a moment to speak about the beauty of life, yet I can only find myself focusing the last few days on just that - the beauty of life. I can say with some certainty that I did experience one (if not the) of the most beautiful things I have ever had the pleasure of expe...

This has been the hardest week of my life. And also the sweetest. So many emotions that it is difficult and challenging for me to wrap my head around what is happening at this point. There have been points of almost surreality, yes, I can say that word. There have been other points of spiritual clarity. Other points of overwhelming sorrow and grief. Watching your mother die is hard to do. But the hope I have in Jesus and knowing my mother is in heaven with Him forever is more comfort than words will ever explain. I am certain I will have so many things to blog about, but for today, this is all I can tell you. Yesterday as I ran, I felt like she spoke to me, and told me that she will always be with my dad. I had a vision of her sitting on the lap of Jesus with her beautiful little smirk. And then Jesus reminded me that He will always be with my dad also. And with me. It is an honor to share in the joy of who my mother was, and to celebrate the blessings she has brought to s...

It is so hard to know with absolute certainty at times what the right thing to do is in tough situations. My mom is not doing so well with her health because of the cancer. She is in Michigan, I am in New York. It crushed me when my dad called me to tell me that hospice began yesterday and the doctor said we should just make her feel comfortable at this time. It didn't crush me, thankfully, that my mom was ill, I know and trust that God is with her, and when she dies, she will be with Him forever. That is something that gives me 'peace that transcends all understanding'. But it crushed me that my dad is losing his wife of 42 years. It crushed me that he must go through this kind of hurt, and I am not five miles away to come and comfort him. Both of his sons are in different states, and that must make it all the harder for him. I don't often hear him call me 'son', but as we spoke on the phone more times yesterday than we have in months, he called me ...

It isn't so much fun being thrown under the bus. Particularly when you are not sure why someone pushed you under the bus. Today I struggle with the fact that other people in this world are not like me in certain ways. I am trying to understand God's hand in that, particularly when it seems to me logical and common sensical to go to a person you have a difference of opinion with. As I talked with superstar about this recently, she said something like: "Other people aren't like you in the fact that you will just go and talk to that person. Other people sometimes can't handle doing that face to face like you can." I'm not tooting my horn, I just don't get it when someone else has a problem and they don't come to you with it. They go to someone else, or worse, in a work situation to someone that supervises you. That doesn't even make sense to me. Just get over yourself and have the difficult conversation already. Then both of you can und...

I will tell you that this year has brought one of the biggest challenges of my lifetime to my plate. Cancer is something that strikes so many people in this world. It is a devastating disease that can be debilitating, himiliating, and lethal. Last year, we watched our neighbor go through a bout with breast cancer. With a one year old, it was so hard to see her in pain, without energy, etc. But she is doing well after all of her treatments, and the smile on her beautiful face is joy to our hearts. But this year, it hit my mom. Peritanial cancer. I don't even know if that is how you spell it, to be honest. But it is not one that you can just treat, and have it disappear. But my mom is so brave, and so beautiful. It is so hard to live so many miles away from her and not be able to spend each day serving the loving mother that served each of us in our daily lives for all of our lives. Chemo has been tough, and there have been some hard days for her, and for all of us. But ...

This week, I was truly humbled in my work. Funny that I got a call from my broseph in MI that felt the same thing this week. It hurts when someone has to tell you that you are not meeting expectations. There are many complicated pieces to my work puzzle this year, but that has been some type of crutch for me to rest on. This week, benzr challenged me to get off the crutch - and it hurt. It hurt me that I wasn't doing my best in all areas. It hurt me that I have been trying to keep up in this crazy race, but haven't made pace with my typical work ethic. I had blinders on my eyes, and had convinced myself that I was doing my best. Truth be told, my eyes were opened yesterday to the brutal truth that indeed I was not doing my flat out best. I was working hard, but I was missing opportunities to have an impact. I was missing opportunities to pour into others in order to make improvements in their lives of work. I knew things that I needed to do, but never got to doing th...

I am quite certain that God spoke to me through a dream I had last night, and I felt confirmed in that as I worked my new 'outdoor workout' in the park today. (Watch out aussie!) I woke up in the middle of a dream that was quite vivid. I was seeing this snake that was very large, and very long, I couldn't even see all of him. He was as dark as thunderstorm clouds are - that dark grey/black color, but really really dark. He had no face, but did have arms. He was building a wall of bricks, and slinging mortar or mud all over the bricks he was putting on the wall. The entire wall was covered in this dark sludge of mud so that you couldn't even see the bricks anymore. And I was handing him the bricks. When I handed it to him, he would slap sludge all over it and add it to the wall. As I awoke, I realized this was more than a dream. I felt like God told me to stop handing him the bricks. Because the snake is Satan, and I am choosing to hand him the bricks. I fel...

This might be the longest post title I have ever had here on MSD, but I feel like there is so much to say about this title. I've been working out of town for a few weeks, and really even more than that, as I was in Michigan for work many weeks this summer. It is challenging work, and definitely takes some getting used to not coming home to the girls, eating dinner with them, hearing highs and lows, etc. It certainly has allowed me to press into my spiritual development with the (additional?) time that I have had not being with the kkft. Daily prayer time = increased. Daily bible reading = increased. Getting through Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret book = 7 pages left now. Praying in the rental care = more than in my car. Praying for people I have never met or just getting to know = so much increased. Praying for the k girls = so so so much more each day as I miss the smiles laughs and hugs. Getting the picture here? I have been wrestling with a few things - one major ...

What a powerful evening this was for me in so many ways. It really is an incredible world that we live in, and I am thinking and writing that because I was able to watch my friend and pastor speak at our old church via that there internet tonight from my hotel room in shuffletown. I honestly could not wait to tune in, and all day I had great anticipation to see how God would use this opportunity to teach others something. Unbeknownst to me, I was tuning in so that I might learn so much and be blown away - again. (Why are you so dull? is what Jesus asked his disciples) "Follow me." Two very small words that have changed my life. It seems quite a stretch to say that about my life, as Jesus said this to a select few, and they did 'gather and go' as Jesus asked them. Many could not face the reality of giving up their lives, and selling all their things, and leaving family, and liquidating their wealth. I feel that I very clearly heard God ask me to follow him in o...

In my new role this year, I am going to be travelling quite a bit more than I used to. I (so far) can only see one single solitary drawback. I am not with all my girls. I am thankful that superstar is an independent woman that actually enjoys being independent of her man, and that she is good with me not being there. But this morning livvy came and sat next to me on the loveseat in the spare room to wake up, and that is definitely not something I can do in another town. But I am so thankful for what I get to do. The next few months, there is much hard work to be done. I continue to ask God to lead me in what I need to see, what I need to do, and what I need to say. This is a new(er) approach to my work, as I know I used to ask God to help me, but only generally and subsequently to what I thought I should do and how. Now, the work is indeed more challenging, and so I must depend on Him more because I need Him to lead me. This week, in our communitas daily study, the focus is ...

I am ever thankful that I have such wonderful in laws from the top of the list to the bottom. Of course the list would be alphabetical to show no favoritism because I love them all equally no matter what. But if I'm allowed to just for a moment place an asterisk next to some of the names on the list, today the asterisks go to the panks. You see, moving away from Michigan's thumb, we left quite a fertile place to grow vegetables and get hand picked deliveries if we so desired, would find a box of said vegetables on our porch or in our garage at random times, or be asked if we wanted to take anything 'out of the garden' before we left church road. Today, a box arrived at our apartment which contained a slice of the bountiful harvest normally acquired from church road. And joy is in my heart. Because today I will eat cornmobile.com corn for dinner. And I will savor it in my mouth as long as I can. You might think you've had sweet corn before that is good, perha...

I am so fortunate to have my job, and work for such an incredible company. What we do for children is truly an honorable thing, and the joy it brings to my heart is overwhelming. Hearing from parents this morning, seeing children celebrated, and knowing that 500 new teachers will have a wide variety of impacts on so many children across the country was a bit overwhelming to my spirit. Why is it that I get so emotional about that? The only thing I can put together is that God created me to help provide those opportunities for parents, children, teachers, and any other stakeholders. It brings me great joy to know that there is an impact to what we do together. Our CEO sends a monthly email to all employees, and at the end of the email that we received this morning he said: "I believe in you." I read that line, and tears came to my eyes. It did not feel like an impersonal statement. I felt like he was in the room saying it to me, and it was powerful. I sense that God ...

This week, I have been in GR for more excitement with so many new faces. It is exciting to see hundreds of new teachers preparing for a new life in their new careers. Personally, I have gotten to spend time with my new colleague and friend, the aussie. In my new role at work, I get to work with him in leadership development and some things of that sort. It is right in my wheelhouse, and I feel so very fortunate that I get to a: be involved in this work; b: do this work with the aussie; c) enjoy each day what I get to do for "work". It is really incredible, and God has blessed me beyond what I even imagined once again, blowing my hopes and dreams to pieces, only to provide me once again with more than I ever imagined. As Jesus asked Peter- "Are you so dull?" But the aussie is a special person, a Christian man that is inspiring, and an encouragement to me in every respect. I have so enjoyed each time we get to work on something. This week, if you look at the p...

After 34 days away from Brooklyn, I finally got to spend the night in my own bed for a couple of days. The old me would not have been so excited to sleep in a 'full' size bed, but now it is my bed of choice. I didn't get to sleep with a superstar, but soon enough we will both be back in our little bed together. It was great to have a delicious puertorican dinner of pork chops, beans and rice, and a delicious salad. The rican can cook some tasty morsels fo sho. Even got to have spinderello and sprinkle join in on the deliciousness. It was so so nice to see some of the friends that I have missed greatly being out of the city. Also got to double windsor it up with the rican friday night. There are so many things that bring joy to my heart after being in the city for less than two days, even if I am sitting in an airport ready to head out for another week. The view of the skyline of nyc is overwhelming. Especially when I hear God saying "this is my city". ...

No, I am not really lost. It has been 18 days since my last post, and I am itching to post so many things that have happened over the last two weeks or so. I so much enjoyed spending time in Michigan, particularly time in serving my mom that has cancer. It is challenging to experience cancer when it occurs in friends, their parents, neighbors, relatives, and the like. But when it occurs to someone in your direct family, it is definitely different. I pray each day that God would do a miracle in my mom's health, and I believe He could do that. But it is certainly hard to see your own mother without her normal energy and unable to spend her entire day serving others, because that is what she would do any other time that we came to visit. But after a blood transfusion, her hemoglobin went back to 11 and she is feeling stronger. I hope that swing continues. There was also much fun to be had among the work travels with family and friends. Spending time with the K's from GA,...

This phrase kept hitting me yesterday as I ran. (By the by, up to the stoplight and back = 3.4 miles) That is more than I ever dreamed of running as an adult, and I think it might be more than I ever ran as a young adult when I used to be quite fit playing sports in high school. But once again the parallels between the physical and the spiritual resonate for me. I never dreamed that I would be shaving my mom's head as she goes through chemotherapy, but I did. And I did it with joy in my heart to be able to serve her in that way. Bald is the new black, by the way. I never dreamed that I would be living and working in Brooklyn, NY, but that is happening with joy in my heart as well. Being in the calm of wales certainly has been wonderful, but I do miss the pace and energy of my city. Never dreamed that I would be part of a church plant, but that also brings me joy. Never dreamed I would be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, but I am. Never dreamed I would hav...

This morning as I enjoyed my coffee anew, the word abundance kept coming to me. Abundance. All of the things that I get to experience = Abundance. An abundance of love. An abundance of joy, fun, smiles, laughs. An abundance of food and drink. An abundance of friends and family. Abundance of abundance. Doesn't even sound like a word anymore, does it? Abundance. What do you have in abundance? I have everything in abundance. And as I ran today, the word absolution reigned in my ears. The fact that Jesus died for me is an act of absolution. My sins are forgiven - not sometimes, not for a while, but absolutely. Absolved. Gone. And absolution means forever. I was overwhelmed with the love of Christ and his act of absolution that I so do not deserve. And that means love in abundance. Word to the A.

I have to say this is a different kind of July than I have ever experienced. I am enjoying the fact that I am sitting on the front porch, warm breeze hitting my skin, the lazy sound of the breeze passing through the soy beans and the pine trees. In the past, July has certainly meant a change in the pace of life for my family and me. From working a lot of hours during the school year, when July hits, it is a time to sleep in for a while, chill out, spend some time with those you love, and the like. But this July, it is a removal of not only the pace of life, but the PLACE of life. From BKLY to the sticks of Wales Township, it certainly is a bit different in all aspects. First question I find myself asking myself is "where the heck is everyone?" Not that I am complaining. It is a nice change of pace and place. It warms my heart to simply spend some time with family, just realaxing, catching up, playing tennis (without a fee), swimming in the pool, riding the new go car...

14 years of marriage today. I love my superstar more than I love life itself. I would take bullets for her. I would chew nails. God has graced me with a beautiful woman that desires the way God wants us to live. She challenges me on what I need challenging on. She loves me even more than I thought someone could love me. She is the most incredible mother to our children. She is a servant because she loves people the way God loves people. She is more beautiful than I deserve. When I get to hold her in my arms, I know it is something special. When I see her face, I am blown away by the beauty of God. I could stare at her face all day long and be completely content. Before dating, I knew I loved her and wanted to marry her. I can still recall vividly January 3rd, 1993 our first date at FGF's. Sitting at the bar with smiles and laughter. She placed her hand on my knee, and I knew things would never be the same. And they are not. I am in love more today than I have ever...

Hard to believe that this young lady is the nugget that I held in my hands just over 10 years ago. Hard to believe that the one that ate just about anything without any teeth is now almost as tall as her mother. Hard to believe that the one that would say "My FAFE momma" (instead of faCe) is now writing her own songs and melodies. Having a daughter has certainly opened my eyes and my heart to how God feels about me as His child. Even when she makes mistakes, I still love her more than I can tell you. My love for her does not end, and the pride and joy that comes to my heart is tremendous when adults in her school talk about how special she is, and how she has changed their lives or outlook or daily life. This is a special girl. Check that, she is becoming a special young lady. This week is her last week at her 'elementary' school. This fall, she will be in middle school. As one that has so much enjoyed the ms years in my career, I am thrilled to watch her mo...

This week has been quite busy, and with much stress involved. Moving away from your parents was not difficult for me to do, just my personality I suppose. Not that I don't miss them, because I DO. But this week, I found out that my mother has cancer. It seems odd to me to even type that last sentence. Surreal. It doesn't seem like that is something that was going to happen to my mommy. Let's start like this-My mom was incredible to us growing up. (And by the by, she still is incredible to us, and even more so to her grandchildren.) As a young child, you don't grasp the reality of what exactly your parents are doing for you. As a young man, you think you know more than everyone else, and that you are invincible, and that your parents are pretty stupid. But now, as a full grown man in his 40's (I know, I know, physically-I am aware of the fact that I often behave like an adolescent) it does sink in just what your parents do for you, especially being a paren...

We are all on a train. Some go to nice stations that are clean. Some stop at very dirty places, and we choose to get off. Some of our trains are air conditioned. Some smell like vomit. We choose the train we ride, becasue that is what the creator allows us to do. The trains go from here to there and don't ever stop running. We choose to stay on a train, or we choose to get off. We know the routes, and what the destination is. Sometimes we get to choose who we ride the train with, sometimes, we don't. Sometimes we choose to get on a train with the wrong people heading in the wrong direction. Sometimes we don't know we're headed in the wrong direction until we get stuck in a tunnel somewhere we don't want to be and then don't even know how long we will have to wait to get to the next station and get off. But on that train, whatever train we are on, we have full discretion to continue riding, to stop at the messy or wise stops, to transfer to the right ...

It was a nice weekend visit having the in-laws here in the city. Particularly when you take your father - in - law for a nice pleasant bike ride through the park. And then you recommend stopping to check out the band that is playing. And you hear a man's voice over the PA, but see a woman. And your father in law says "I thought that was a man", and your response is "That is a man, take a look at the sign." (Which reads - welcome to the annual L.G.B.T. Festival) Not that there is anything wrong with that. It just is confusing to me. Very confusing. Mostly comical when you see some of the things going on, and you want to say to someone -for real? That is what you want? Alright then. On your way.

Over the last week, I have started a new workout regimen that I found in Men's Health this month. I have enjoyed getting myself into better shape over the last couple of years, and I certainly feel better about my general health and fitness levels. Eating right and excercising can do some incredible things to your body. I never felt the need to take better care of myself, and I never felt like I wasn't well. But now looking back at the extra 50 some pounds I had to carry around, the smoking that limited my body, and the eating habits I maintained, I am surprised that I didn't realize what I was doing to myself. Peep this from Corinthians 6: Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. The benefits to honoring God with my body are transforming physically, as well as mentally. As well as emotionally. As well as spirit...

Well, it is memorial day weekend. Thanks and praise to all those that have died so that I might enjoy time with my family, watch a race, and go to the beach. Did I mention Indian food on Friday night? Our neighbors took us out to dinner, so so nice of them to do, and we had Indian food. It was delicious and I personally enjoyed every bite of everything. (Even if pastor doesn't like it.) So enjoyed spending time eating great food and watching Indian music video/movies while we ate and chatted. V-langs is finally done with her radiation and keimo, so it was a celebration of all the days getting to here. I pray that her cancer never returns and health is all she knows. We also enjoyed helping them do some cleaning/organizing/painting/hanging things/etc., and it was honestly a fun day even with all the work. Today we went to Riis park on the Atlantic Ocean. 80's. Sunny. The wind was pretty strong coming off the ocean, but it didn't ruin the day. Watching alli lay d...

Yesterday I was fortunate enough to be able to leave school early to go to another school. It happens to be my daughters' school. I got to enjoy the 'puppet' show that the 5th graders put on each year at their school. The puppets are gigantic heads the students design and build, connected with large pieces of material to make the shirts, and then gigantic hands to complete the puppet. So the students bring them out into the courtyard and do a dance, and then act out a poem with thier gigantic puppets-which end up hanging in the hallways of the school for the next year. When Allison read her poem, my soul was overwhelmed, and tears popped out of my eye sockets. I'm not sure if it could even be described as 'crying', because it was more of an emotional outburst than crying. But this 'crying' was something that stuck with me for a while. I left the school and went for a run in prospect park-it was 90 something yesterday, and I have a hard time runni...

As the sun sets across Brooklyn, and I sit on the terrace enjoying the coolness of the shade and the greenery of the trees in all the 'yards' behind the houses in our hood, I am thankful for where I live. Brooklyn is a special place, and these mere words on this measly website will not thoroughly convey my thoughts and emotions that now run deep for this place. I can tell you that the grittiness of the neighborhoods is palpable. I can tell you there is no pretentiousness from people that live in MOST neighborhoods here. I can tell you the diversity brings the world to your rods and cones quickly each day. It is not easy to live here. It is a challenge. The curse words you hear on a daily basis are enough to make you join in the use of new adjectives in never before imagined ways. The fact that some ladies put on a shirt and forget to wear pants with that shirt sometimes makes you want to shout "Dammit, Bobby, put some pants on." The fact that when a light tur...

I haven't posted in over 10 days. Not to say that I did not think of posting, or have things to contemplate. I did. But for some reason, I was fighting the urges to blog on things. So now, you will have to sit there in your seat (I hope it is a comfy one) and read through my personal regurgitation of so many things, you might be sick of me by the time I am finished. Heck, you're probably already sick of me, but that's only because you know me. First-Olivia turned 8 on her 'birthweek' this week. You see, at our house, there are multiple events during that week now for birthdays. Family night together to celebrate, day to take treats in to school, friends party, small group cake and ice cream. See, that's nearly a week already. So we have enjoyed the birthweek, breakfast together as a family (something new-ty terrace bagels YUM). As I sat on the plane and prayed for Olivia and her life, her relationship with God, her future, her wisdom, it occurred to me...

It has been a long time since attending my last NASCAR race, last one was MIS in '08. And I like that there NASCAR. So it hasn't been on the priority list since the nyc move came about. But this fall, I will be going to the Monster Mile. A friend of mine (the Yankee) said he would like to go. At first I thought he was kidding. But he wasn't. Now I have tickets. And we get to stay at his sister's for free. Bonus round. So 143 days from now, I'll be sitting in the stands with the Yankee. I just peed in my pants a little bit.

So how do you best serve God's will here on earth when you completely disagree with how things are going? Frustration is only a 11 letter word, and my thoughts tend to go more with three four letter words, because that is clearer than frustration. Sometimes, I simply have to ask myself "WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?" I know that I am not perfect, and I am CERTAIN that the last few years have taught me humility at an entirely new level. But how do people completely disregard others in order to serve themselves, and their own needs? There are situations in nyc where you must be assertive in order to not get trampled-sometimes literally as in a subway station, line of vehicles turning left, or the like. But in simple everyday interactions where you need to listen and think of others first, I find that my frustration with self serving people is HIGH. It is my hope that I never treated people like that in the past. I certainly try my absolute best to not treat them that w...