Help me.

What a powerful evening this was for me in so many ways. It really is an incredible world that we live in, and I am thinking and writing that because I was able to watch my friend and pastor speak at our old church via that there internet tonight from my hotel room in shuffletown. I honestly could not wait to tune in, and all day I had great anticipation to see how God would use this opportunity to teach others something. Unbeknownst to me, I was tuning in so that I might learn so much and be blown away - again. (Why are you so dull? is what Jesus asked his disciples)
"Follow me." Two very small words that have changed my life. It seems quite a stretch to say that about my life, as Jesus said this to a select few, and they did 'gather and go' as Jesus asked them. Many could not face the reality of giving up their lives, and selling all their things, and leaving family, and liquidating their wealth. I feel that I very clearly heard God ask me to follow him in our journey to nyc. I had no idea what that might mean for me, for my wife, my children, my marriage, my friendships, my family. But I agree with the pastor in that I would not change it for the world.
As I literally dropped to my knees in my hotel room tonight, I praised the God of the universe that loves me (and every person) more than I deserve. My heart was broken knowing that God has led my life to places I only dreamed about in my life. I simply sat on my knees and praised him for loving me, and giving me things that I didn't even see coming. And I asked God: "Help me." And I wept. And I wept. And I wept. A new surrender tonight to my King - that I need Help. So much help that I don't even know how or what to ask for. But I know that I need Him to help me. In all that I do. In the moments of today. And tomorrow. In dealing with the life I am so desperately trying to live to glorify His Name.
And peace and tranquility pour over my heart. Because I know that I can trust Him. After giving up more to my King, time and time and time again, I know I can trust Him.
And for this day, I am so thankful for my friend. My mentor. My pastor, and my chum. I would not be the man I am today if it weren't for him pouring into my life and my walk. I can't even believe that I get to be his friend. And again I praise God for more than I deserve. In every aspect of my life. More than I deserve. And I kneel at His feet. And I weep. And I praise Him. And I cry out - "Help me."

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