Just a Drunk

I have to say that my emotions ran strong yesterday as I experienced some ups and downs during the day. Most often, as a person that thinks more than feels, I don't tend to emotionally involve myself in great fashion throughout my days. Not always true, but typically. But as I left school on Friday and made my way to the subway (which is actually an "El" where I catch it, yet everyone still calls it the subway even though it is not sub in any way shape or form unless you mean sub to the sky) I pumped some of my kexp podcast and was completely engaged in the incredible music they play. As I crossed Ocean Parkway, I noticed a man laying on the snow pile at the corner and a woman in a wheelchair leaning over to help him. I took my ear buds out and realized the woman in the wheelchair was trying to help him up. It appeared he had fallen on the ice and dropped his groceries, and he didn't appear to be well. The woman said "I think he is intoxicated." As we tried to engage him in conversation, it was apparent he was indeed intoxicated. He was not responsive to our questions. A woman at the corner on her cell phone said she called 911 like 10 minutes ago and was looking for the ambulance they had sent. Squatting down, I tried to engage with the man, realized he had a 'boot' on, the kind you wear after surgery on your foot. He had a hospital wristband on that said he was admitted to a hospital 6 days earlier and his name was Jacek. Even calling his name, he did not respond. The woman in the wheelchair left and another woman stopped to help. She called 911 also, and as we tried to engage with him, I prayed that he would be ok. His eyes were foggy, he seemed to not even be aware of the world around him. At one point, I said his name and asked him if he was ok. He looked at me with his steel blue eyes, and couldn't seem to focus in on me. A jewish man who said he was an EMT stopped, and tried to engage Jacek. He checked his pulse, etc., and called someone on the phone while checking the man. The ambulance arrived, and a young man got out, walked up and said 'what happened'. We explained we found him there and thought he was intoxicated. "Great" he said. And walked back to the ambulance and called someone on the radio. The woman in the ambulance got out and asked him what they had. "Just a drunk" he said. The words hurt me, if not Jacek that probably did not hear it and will never remember it. He and the woman in the ambulance came over and tried to engage Jacek. "GET UP" "LET'S GO" "COME ON" "I know this guy, I've seen him before" said the man. They jerked him up and the man told him "WALK", but his legs didn't work. "Put him back down" The got the stretcher by slamming it around, and as they literally threw him onto the stretcher thingy, he asked me to hold it, and I mean they threw him. His hat covered his head, and they made no move to fix it. The man roughly strapped Jacek into the stretcher. I fixed his hat, and he looked at me. I told him he was going to be ok. That people would help him. The ambulance man said "must be nice to just sit around and get drunk all day. now I am going to have to spend an hour cleaning this up." I was hurt so much. Here lies this man. Maybe he struggles with alcohol. But what is his story? Is he on medication for the foot injury? Does he have a family? Is there anyone that cares for him? Why is he drinking early afternoon? He was maybe early 60's. What has his life looked like up until now? Is he drinking to numb the pain of his life. I looked at ambulance man and said "He's still a human being." Guy says 'yeah, and when some drunk runs a red light and hits you and I have to pick you up of the sidewalk all bloody, what does that make you?' I say "makes me a human being also." I look at Jacek and tell him it's going to be ok. I consider getting the ambulance guys name, supervisor, etc. If he is so bitter, and he is maybe late 20's, why does he keep doing this job? Isn't this a job of 'service'? I understand it may be difficult dealing with people that make poor decisions, believe me. But I wanted to shout at this guy - WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU IN THIS JOB FOR IF YOU ARE SO MISERABLE? I wanted to get in the ambulance and go with Jacek and show this man how to extend love and grace. But I didn't, honestly, I prayed that God would convict this man RIGHT THEN that he was not loving and evil.
Needless to say, I went on with my day in an emotional state. I told superstar about it when I arrived home. But on my way home as I prayed for Jacek, I did all I could to counteract the mean spirit of ambulance man. I bought flowers from Alberto from Mexico and had a conversation with him about living in Brooklyn. I bought the flowers to brighten superstar's day and table. I shared a smile with an african american man that engaged in eye contact with me as we walked. I stopped to push out a couple of young ladies that were caught up on a snow pile. I listened to a blue jay squak and thanked God for the beauty of the day. I tried to shine a bit of light on myself and on this city that tends to become grey as others around you don't shine their lights. I pray for Jacek today. That others will see him not just a drunk, but a man of infinite worth in the sight of the Lord, as he sees me - infinite worth.