Posts

Showing posts from 2015

When is home truly home?

I have felt challenged to walk 'down to the lake' each day for a year.  I am just over two months in, and I do truly try to do it every day.  If I am out of town, obviously I can't do it, and there have been a few days I have been gone all day and night and haven't done it - but probably only twice.  I am learning much on these walks.  One of those things is I absolutely love where we live.  LO.  It is truly an incredibly beautiful place.  You can drive by on M-24, see a glimpse of the lake, pass the village downtown sign at 40 mph or so and not think much of it.  But this place is amazing.  The walks have given me a love of seeing the 'neighborhood' over a period of time.  Walk by the same houses, and see something interesting or the decorations for the season change - like the Christmas lights coming out.  And we have been blessed with a boat for a bit of this summer, and now, walking past different parts of this lake that automatically brings you calm - whet

Life is Precious.

It is amazing to me the sense of refreshment I feel this summer in my soul - the renewing of my mind and spirit that I feel is upon me.  The last couple of years I suppose I didn't realize the valley that I was in - just how much I was leaning on God to get me through some challenging days.  Don't get me wrong - it was not all dread and gloom.  Moving back to LO and MI in many ways brought new joy and life to me and God clearly opened my eyes to simple things that I should appreciate so much more than I ever have.  Waking up is one thing.  What a gift each day we have is!  This year, my friend BG has had open heart surgery, was not able to work, and was in and out of the hospital.  Standing by his side in a hospital was such a difficult thing, and his wife is an incredible lady that has been an encouragement and testament to what marriage is about for me.  Knowing that my great friend actually died and was not even able to speak at one point was real life - and sucked.  I had

Love. Much. Forever.

Here we are, two months later, and I haven't blogged like i always says i'm going to.  Don't think for a minute that there are not blog type things that run through my brain, because there are.  But I am once again starting my half-marathon training to build wells in Africa for the Pokot nation, and as per usual, running gives me time to pray, engage with God, and unplug from the reality of this broken world.  Anywho-as I was running through my new school (insert air conditioning to combat running in heat and humidity) and praying, I was questioning myself on whether or not I am engaging with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit enough.  Whilst in NYC, I had more flexibility in my days and could purposefully set aside time to do just that along with reading the bible.  Not so much here in suburbia with a new job, family, trying to break with vacation and events, etc.  But I really felt like God asked me "But are you listening to me?"  And truly, I feel like I am - and

Why do I stop?

So much for the new year's resolution of writing a blog post each week = Fail Army.  I can say that I am at least 333% better this year already (not including this post) than last, so clearly improvement.  I wanted to commit to writing a post a week because it truly helps me to process life, learning, and next steps in my life.  The last few months have not been limited in these areas, as my life has drastically changed, I have learned so many things, and every day in June, I have taken new 'next steps' personally, professionally, spiritually, and emotionally.  As a human being and a follower of Jesus, I try to keep running the race as Paul once said, and there are times at work, in exercise, in relationships, in friendships, in my pursuit of Jesus that I simply can't continue on - I stop.  Sometimes to protect myself, sometimes to redirect my energies to more fruitful opportunities, and sometimes simply because I can't keep doing something that hurts.  The last co

Big C ~ Little c.

Image
When I was working on my bachelor's degree, I was a Spanish major, and that meant a lot of course work in classes learning the actual language - reading, speaking, listening, writing.  It also meant work around learning about the 'culture' of Spanish speaking peoples.  And there are many.  This week, we are on Spring Break One Five, and I was thankful to spend time with my girls, slip away for a couple of days (even if it wasn't to a warm place or to Florida).  Just being with them and enjoying each other and exploring and living life without the weight of all we need to do and be is glorious.  But I digress to the culture moment.  As I looked out onto Lake Michigan thawing, watched the girls run and record jump kicks in the sand, and have my superstar put her arms around me, I was struck by a learning back at CMU - fire up chips.  We learned about the 'big C' and 'little c' of cultures.  Too heavy to get into, but the basic gist is there are big over

Houston, we have a problem.

This week, I had the opportunity to attend a national conference in Houston, TX.  It was delightful being able to walk outside, go for a run, take an evening stroll, all while wearing shorts and a shirt.  No scarf, no gloves, no hat, no winter coat, no long pants, and the like.  This is the first time I have attended a conference in the last seven plus years outside of the company.  I was able to sit in sessions with some of the most well-renowned researchers and writers in education.  I actually got to sit down at a table one on one with a well known well respected 'authority' in my field and have a personal conversation. I got to thank him for helping me frame my brain on leadership, instruction, and quality schools - and what an impact his work has had on my brain in this area.  He even signed my book.  I also got to meet other professionals from Canada, Texas, New Hampshire, New York, Minnesota, Kentucky, Michigan, and even Australia.  And as I drove home from the airport

Where are you?

Here I am.  This is the kind of faith I seek.  Reading the story of Abraham various times in my life, I am always blown away by by the faith Abraham displays.  Years before he was able to have children.  Finally does.  And he follows God's directions on his life, and takes his own son out to a remote place he knows God wants him to go, and actually ties his son up to burn him as an offering of sacrifice to the God he loves and serves.  His own son!  And when God speaks to him, all he says is "Here I am."  He even raises the knife, completely prepared to sacrifice his son as God directed him.  And God says in that last moment - No.   Now I know you are committed.  I believe that you trust me.  And the intricacies of the things that God weaves together in Abraham's life, and those that are engaged in life  with him in this sacrificial living to trust God - moving where God directs, doing what God asks, putting God's will before his own or before the will of his fam

Sin Cliff.

This is His way.  A journey.  Journeys are not easy, they are challenging.  If we are OF this world, it is a ride on the struggle bus to be for this world.  What is it that I desire?  I want to do what He wants me to do, but like Paul said thousands of years ago in Romans 7: I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not what I want to do--this I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  What a great big fat nugget of truth.  Being in this world is a challenge to say the least, and 'the forces of this world that are seen and unseen' continue to press

Joy, Danger, and Thought Patterns.

Sitting in the ATL this weekend - won a grant to attend a conference here, and that gave me an opportunity to do something I really enjoy - travel.  For work or pleasure, I always enjoy it.  Some people complain about the planes or waiting or delays or crappy whatever, but none of that bothers me.  I really enjoy it.  Why, you ask?  I think it is because I can be among many people - but don't need to engage with them.  In my work, there is not an option of engaging - in order to be successful, I must engage.  With each person I pass, see, enter a room with, etc.  If I don't, people think something is wrong, I don't like them, I'm mean, I even have had some people at our company say that I scare them.  (Even thought we have had limited interaction, sometimes just on the phone.)  Back to the ATL.  I got to spend a couple of days with my brother and his family, and that was such a great time - it is crazy that my nieces are growing up to be these young ladies.  I suppose

Holding Pattern

Well, certainly life is an interesting character.  I am amazed at all of the things that seem to be happening in this life that all of the sudden change directions, tacks, or whatever term you choose.  There are moments in life where I certainly lack clarity on what is real, true, or at moments even just happening.  There are moments where I feel that God through the Holy Spirit gives me complete and utter clarity.   At least I think that.  And then He changes direction on me.  Not necessarily a bad thing, just seems to happen.  And so it goes.  I think I know something.  I sense it to be true.  I pray about it, feel peace and clarity.  Move forward.  And doors close.  And the only thing I can do is praise Him for showing me the truth.  For closing the doors.  For listening to my stupid little pleas that must seem like such stupidity to Him in His Godly eyes looking over the world.  But this is the Love He has for me.  Nothing to Him is consequential, and He cares so deeply about my h

Big Stretch.

The throws of winter in Michigan.  As I convalesce (not in Spain) with my second sinus infection of the winter throws, I am at home trying to get healthy, and two snow days weren't even enough to be ready for today.  But it is good.  Ok, the pounding head this morning wasn't so great, but time to be with Jesus this morning has been precious.  There is a big stretch coming in the lives of the KKFT, and I am still in the middle of working through this stretch to understand just what it is that God would have me do going from point A to point B.  I feel in my spirit and my mind I know what that is, and it would be answers to things God has put on my heart for over a year now.  However, it is not something that can happen overnight, and I am really trying to honor others in this, and not just go about it the way I feel best.  That has been my pattern in the past, but God continues to stretch me in my heart, my mind, and my spirit.  I am certain He is doing this because of the time

Re-Create my Re-Creation.

2015 is going to be more as I previously posted.  I am working on the once a week posting, and I just couldn't dial a few things in to post about.  But here I am.  In working through some things in our huddle, I have known for well over a year now that my current position has put our family out of whack as far as rhythm of life, and have not felt comfort in my spirit about how that plays out in the day to day.  Driving an hour to work and an hour back on top of a rigorous schedule does not allow a lot of time to 're-create' in the way God desires.  But one of the things I have really been pushing into is answering the question: "What re-creates me?"  And I mean this in the spiritual sense.  God created the world in six days, and I would say this type of work seems a bit more complex than what any of us human idiots do in a week.  But then God rested, and further commanded all of us to rest on the sabbath.  Our society does not value the sabbath, but expects us to

More.

This past year, the superstar and I joined a small group of sorts called a 'huddle'.  This group spends our weeks working through the 3dm book Building a Discipling Culture .  Let's be honest, the first year back in the D, I simply worked and slept for the most part.  Didn't really have margin in my life to engage with others in our faith, spend a lot of time meeting with other christian men, etc.  I did spend a lot of the year simply praying during my commute, and God certainly taught me much about prayer as a discipline.  I used to long to listen to NPR on the morning commute, now I simply want to spend time with Him.  Back to modern times.  This huddle has put me a space with superstar and some incredible other couples that are spending their lives pursuing Him.  Listening.  Prayerfully considering how to live their lives.  I missed this type of community in the move, and it was like unplugging from a power source and watching your battery percentage slip until you

Unlimited Possibilities

Well, December's blogiversary came and went, and it was the first year in many that I didn't actually post on it.  Matter of fact, I posted that I was going to work to be better at posting, and I didn't.  But in my quiet time and prayer, I realized how much blogging actually helped me over the last few years to grow in maturity and in my relationship with God.  So one of my new year's resolutions this year is to commit to blogging more regularly so that I can spend that time processing life and what is happening around my world.  The last year and half back in MI has been challenging.  Once again taking all that is normal, tipping that cart over and starting afresh.  New home.  New neighbors.  New job role.  New things to learn.  I spent probably at least the first year just trying to keep my head above water to be honest.  Waves of life crashing onto my shore, sometimes feeling like hurricane force.  I mostly just tried to stay on the shore that is Jesus, and not get