**Mustard Seed Distributed**

2012 is nearly through, and if you are a Mayan believer, the world should end in a couple hours from now.  So if that is true - whoever reads this would be a post apocalyptic survivor?  Or something like that.  But I digress.  My work situation continues to be in flux.  I have been given a letter by my employer basically saying thank you so much for all your work, come June,  we won't be needing you anymore.  You can forgive my paraphrasing, and if this were for adults only, I may insert some choice language here.  A pretty hard blow to your psyche when you bust your arse - literally and figuratively - for a company, get feedback that you are really doing great things from several avenues, and then be put in the milk closet (no, really, I work in a milk closet) and handed the letter.  Funny thing is, I am so very comfortable with that right now.  Yes, I have astronomical rent to pay.  Yes, my two daughters will be in an incredible school in our neighborhood next year.  Yes, we con

If you read my post yesterday, I know what you might be thinking.  What's up with Mr. Negativity Pants?  Well, this post is to counteract your thinking.  I pointed out that trust - I feel - is not something I am struggling with.  I completely trust that God is doing a continuous work in me.  And believe you me (why do people say that?), I need continuous work.  As I fumbled around the dark room yesterday (last week?  Last month?  Last two months?), I received an email about moving forward.  It is honestly something I have been in continuous prayer about with a few others for a couple of months.  And it is good.  I don't know clearly the outcome.  I don't know clearly God's plan in this.  But I do know that Jesus is with me in this.  The last several days in my quiet time, God has pointed that out to me.  Overwhelmed me with the fact that I am not alone in this dark room.  That soon, there will be light, and I will be able to see - an exit?  Not sure.  But I am asking y

Five years seems to be a long time.  Really.  If you pay attention at home, you know I have been now keeping this blog 5.0 years.  And as I glimpse back at the last four 'blogiversary' posts, trust is the pattern of choice apparently in my posts, my life, my world.  And here I am today, sitting in Bed-Stuy, not sure what will come of this career path, this journey, or the next step.  And it is hard.  It sucks.  I was in a position at work that was bringing me much joy, and that alleviated a lot of anxiety or troubles in my heart, my mind, my spirit.  But this current state - it is a challenge to find the joy.  I am joyful that Jesus is my king.  Outside of that, and the enjoyment of travelling through the city to get here each day, and the people I get to come in contact with, it flat out sucks.  But my trust does not waiver.  Through Him all things are possible.  I can't do anything outside of Him guiding my words.  My steps.  My interactions.  And I sit in the palm of hi