Holding Pattern

Well, certainly life is an interesting character.  I am amazed at all of the things that seem to be happening in this life that all of the sudden change directions, tacks, or whatever term you choose.  There are moments in life where I certainly lack clarity on what is real, true, or at moments even just happening.  There are moments where I feel that God through the Holy Spirit gives me complete and utter clarity.   At least I think that.  And then He changes direction on me.  Not necessarily a bad thing, just seems to happen.  And so it goes.  I think I know something.  I sense it to be true.  I pray about it, feel peace and clarity.  Move forward.  And doors close.  And the only thing I can do is praise Him for showing me the truth.  For closing the doors.  For listening to my stupid little pleas that must seem like such stupidity to Him in His Godly eyes looking over the world.  But this is the Love He has for me.  Nothing to Him is consequential, and He cares so deeply about my heart.  My dirty broken heart of flesh in this worldthat doesn't always make sense.  What this means to me this day, is that I need to continue to submit to His will.  To His love.  To his wonderful magnificent grace that I so do not deserve.  And to submit to him each moment of each day in each thing that happens in front of my eyes and ears.  To set myself aside and serve Him, the king who died for me so that I might have life to the full as He desires.  Not life to MY full, but to His.  And this is a different life than I desire.  I desire worldly things, comfort, pleasure, like a two year old yelling MINE! But these are all not of Him, not good, not kingdom focused, not loving, not graceful.  So I pray God as I stand in this holding pattern waiting to get your mighty clarity, that you would pour your love out on my and draw me to you.  To your love.  To your grace.  To your holding pattern, not mine. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Too, Too, Too Much Fun

Alright. So you're sitting in front of your computer right now. And you're saying to yourself at about 8:00 pm: "Huh. It's been dark out for nearly three and a half hours now. What else can we do for fun?" Well, sir, we have the answer. Take a look at this.
Read more

Righteous or Unrighteous?

Today, as I thoroughly enjoyed my walk to the school, I pondered quite a few things, as I often do on my walk. Sometimes I pray for people like Hammy, Jimmer, sick pete, mg, cdubs, pastor, beary, and the like. But today, I simply reveled in the fact that God loves me. As I watched the snow melting away, I could see the dirt and garbage left behind throughout my walk. I think of how God melts away our dirt and our garbage. How he longs to be in relationship with us, and how he cleanses our sins from existence. As the sun rose, I couldn't help but think of the verse I read this morning in Matthew 5:45 - "...that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." I pondered if Jesus was walking with me, which of the above categories would HE put me in? I'm pretty sure the unrighteous one at times. But yet he still walks with me and leads my steps. He brings the heat ...
Read more

Casa de Kelly - a nice place to dine.

Image
It has been a challenging week for me personally. Struggling with some things personal in nature, nothing that I need to go into, but just working hard to keep my chin up. But encouragement comes to me through others that follow God. Thanks to sick Pete for his encouragement to me this week. Thanks to BK for his prayers and vulnerability. But my biggest thanks goes out to the kkft. After a tough week, I got an email yesterday from superstar saying she was hoping to take me out to dinner for drinks, conversation, and even dessert. But no sitter. So her and the girls were working on 'casa de kelly' restaurant in our apartment. I am almost certain it was the best restaurant I have ever visited in my life. Candlelight, mexican food and latin music, time to sit and chat with my wife, the girls serving us and giving us privacy (even had the taboo buzzer to call them when we needed something :)), it was my best night of the year by far. But perhaps the biggest part of the n...
Read more