So much to say about so much to do about so much to live for in so little time.
This might be the longest post title I have ever had here on MSD, but I feel like there is so much to say about this title. I've been working out of town for a few weeks, and really even more than that, as I was in Michigan for work many weeks this summer. It is challenging work, and definitely takes some getting used to not coming home to the girls, eating dinner with them, hearing highs and lows, etc. It certainly has allowed me to press into my spiritual development with the (additional?) time that I have had not being with the kkft. Daily prayer time = increased. Daily bible reading = increased. Getting through Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret book = 7 pages left now. Praying in the rental care = more than in my car. Praying for people I have never met or just getting to know = so much increased. Praying for the k girls = so so so much more each day as I miss the smiles laughs and hugs. Getting the picture here?
I have been wrestling with a few things - one major thing is the fact that my mom has cancer. Not living five miles away certainly seems more challenging to be able to help her. But I pray for her, my dad, and my sister each day, and I can't say I would have done that if I were still living in MI. But in Taylor's Secret book I read this:
"So, if God should place me in serious perplexity, must He not give me much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trial, much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me."
What reassurance this poured into my heart, my mind, and my soul this week. I am not fearful that He can sustain me today, tomorrow, and always. If it were not for His sustainance, I may not be able to cope with the reality of my mother and this life. But I can, ans he guides me, gives me grace, and so much strength. And the joy of the harvest reigns in my heart, my mind, and my soul. I look to God to give me all this, and each day He continues to provide exactly what I need, and more. Even when it is not what I want or deserve. He sustains my heart in His love. Further from Taylor:
"The secret of faith that is ready for emergencies is the quiet, practical dependence upon God day by day which makes Him real to the believing heart."
My heart believes in Him. And so I seek Him and His will. And in doing this, the more I know who He is and His desires for me, for my family, for all of humanity. And knowing what God desires, my love for Him grows exponentially. And in loving Him, I learn to trust him more each day and obey His will for me. And in doing this, my desire to seek Him more grows. It is my love for Him that gets me up early to read the bible and journal. To seek His voice before I start the day I know I am going to screw up. And hear His graceful guidance for my stupidity in this life. And I grow. So much....
I have been wrestling with a few things - one major thing is the fact that my mom has cancer. Not living five miles away certainly seems more challenging to be able to help her. But I pray for her, my dad, and my sister each day, and I can't say I would have done that if I were still living in MI. But in Taylor's Secret book I read this:
"So, if God should place me in serious perplexity, must He not give me much guidance; in positions of great difficulty, much grace; in circumstances of great pressure and trial, much strength? No fear that His resources will prove unequal to the emergency! And His resources are mine, for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me."
What reassurance this poured into my heart, my mind, and my soul this week. I am not fearful that He can sustain me today, tomorrow, and always. If it were not for His sustainance, I may not be able to cope with the reality of my mother and this life. But I can, ans he guides me, gives me grace, and so much strength. And the joy of the harvest reigns in my heart, my mind, and my soul. I look to God to give me all this, and each day He continues to provide exactly what I need, and more. Even when it is not what I want or deserve. He sustains my heart in His love. Further from Taylor:
"The secret of faith that is ready for emergencies is the quiet, practical dependence upon God day by day which makes Him real to the believing heart."
My heart believes in Him. And so I seek Him and His will. And in doing this, the more I know who He is and His desires for me, for my family, for all of humanity. And knowing what God desires, my love for Him grows exponentially. And in loving Him, I learn to trust him more each day and obey His will for me. And in doing this, my desire to seek Him more grows. It is my love for Him that gets me up early to read the bible and journal. To seek His voice before I start the day I know I am going to screw up. And hear His graceful guidance for my stupidity in this life. And I grow. So much....
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