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Here we are. The last day of 2011. (By the by, I am still in the 'twenty-eleven' camp, and tomorrow, I will be in the twenty-twelve camp). What a year this has been. Communitas is in an incredible place right now, on the edge of trusting God to lead us, and not having a pile of money in the bank can certainly lead you to more trust. The girls are healthy, have great friends and teachers. Superstar is always helping - somewhere, someone, including the kkft. I praise God for the opportunity to live in this great city and serve others. We certainly suck at times, and by no means are we even close to perfect, but when I really pay attention to God, when I tune in each morning, take time to journal, open my eyes ears heart and mind to what He wants me to see, do, experience, I am more equipped in this broken world to experience the hand of God in my life. And He seems to put Has hand in my life just when I need a boost. So next year, I have a goal for myself. Pastor write...

My heart was heavy this week. What am I doing? Am I sure that I hear God? Do I really know things to be true? Am I doing the right things for my family? Some of the questions that have been running through my mind this week. Are we supposed to stay in NYC? Do we need to move back to MI? My sense has been that we are where we are supposed to be. We are in NYC for God's purpose. We are supposed to support pastor times two, be the church, pour into our neighborhood, our kids, their friends, others first. There have been a couple of career opportunities that have come to me - in MI. Intriguing to me. Challenging. Moves up. But I have tried to pay attention to what God is teaching me. Pushing into the question - are we to stay in NYC? My answer continues to seem to be yes. Stay. You are in the right spot. All this when (again, surprise) my work position seems to be a temporary thing. I have been assured that this position is good for this year. Beyond that, there ...

If you follow this blog, you are aware that over the last four years, I have really tried to open my hands that I hold my career in, and allow God to lead me in this area. Not been easy. Not going to lie. But it does get easier as I go. The last four years have really been a challenge in that area - at times I have felt like: "Really, God? This is it?" This year is a bit different. I am so thankful that God has given me the opportunity to do what I am doing. But a great conversation with AD has led me (once again) to the conclusion that I really don't know what will happen beyond this year. Much like pastor's present state of employment, we both really are not certain what will come. My hope and my prayer is that I can continue to do what I am doing, for the company that I am doing it with. I believe in what we are doing. I passionately support the vision and mission. But my position is not locked in beyond this year. (Sound familiar?) And so I have ha...

It seems almost unreal to type this: I have been keeping this blog for four years now. That seems pretty crazy to me - that it has been that long. Really crazy. I can tell you that I do enjoy blogging, and you may have noticed that I don't do it as much as I used to. Not out of lack of desire to do, not out of lack of content. Matter of fact, I could probably blog everyday and produce some good content. (All those in favor of me blogging daily for a year say "I") But take a look at my reflection after one year here . I would say that as I worked in the D, God started to grow me in my relationship with Him, and I certainly was learning a lot. Take a look at year two here . I find it interesting that year two seems to be more profound in thinking than year one. Onto year three here . So taking a moment each year to reflect on where God has led me has been a great excercise in learning for me, and I find it interesting that year four doesn't necessarily br...

#l2011 It is hard for me to believe that I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks - time is pumping for me recently. I can't even wrap my head around the fact that a week from today is Thanksgiving. The last month has really just gotten away from me in a big way. I have been traveling a bit for work this month, and I'm not done yet, as I will be in MI for the holiday, then more training of principals and some work out of the office there. But a few days this month I did get to attend Learning 2011 , which was certainly the most interesting conference I have been to in my life. Elliot really knows how to put on a shindig that encourages learning and development. It certainly didn't suck that it was in Orlando, and 80 degrees in November does not suck. This conference really made me think deeply about some work. I don't know if I blogged about it, but I have had a sense that God has been preparing me to do something different. This year certainly can fit into ...

What a beautiful fall day here in NYC. A great day. Today is the first time in my life that I have ever run over 7 miles in one shot. 7.13 miles to be exact. And my route today was around the park, down the slope of park, through the garden of carroll, smack through the hook of red, and along the Brooklyn Bridge Park (which is AWEsome ~ imagine me singing that in a girl's voice). I have been inspired by my lil sis (no I'm not in a fraternity/serority) to work on the 'last 15', although it has been a slow go. That last chunk of weight is hard to work off - especially when you like to eat. A lot. But I digress. This day started with my family, blue skies, some work, and breakfast with pastor as we try to do. We enjoyed our delicious bagel, and I shared with him something that has been on my heart as of late. Superstar and I had lunch yesterday and talked about when you sense that God is giving you something, but you are almost afraid to pray about it, because y...

Tomorrow marks one year since my mom passed away. If she were still alive, she would never let me post this picture of her for the world to see, but to me, it holds all the beauty in the world. Losing your mom is like a gigantic punch in the gut (or a bit lower) - as a parallel to life, it takes your breath away. It is hard to breathe. It hurts, but you can hardly say anything. To me, the last year has brought me joy and sorrow. There are times where very strange things will bring my mom to the front of my mind, the front of my heart, even in my face. Sometimes those moments bring me sheer joy. Thinking of silly things like her laugh that would always warm my heart - even if it was the stupidest thing that her and Lizzy or the other aunties or club would get to tears on. Joy. And also sorrow. Hearing a voice that sounds similar to my mom's - and the sorrow that comes in that moment when the true reality of the fact that I will not hear her precious voice again. True...

It is hard for me to say some of the things I am about to say. Not to myself, not to my close and dearest friends, but to the world. I suck. I am a sinner. I choose to do things that are wrong. Why do we do these things? Why if we know in our hearts and our minds and our spirits and all our souls what is right and magnificent and good do we choose to purposefully do the wrong thing? Sin is a vicious thing that breaks us down, hurts us, hurts those around us, builds walls, creates angst, punishes, and creates darkness in this world. Superstar and I have been away from each other (save the 7 minute driving loop around LGA we spent last Saturday as she picked me up from the airport, and I in turn dropped her off to go on her trip to spend some time with her mom and her dad who just had triple bypass surgery) for nearly two weeks now. That is a long time. I'm just sayin. The cravings of our human body are strong. And I am not going to lie, I am craving. Living in NYC, the ...

After three years, I finally got the chance to run the memorial "Tunnels to Towers" 5k this year. Some of you may have heard me talk about the fact that I thought it would be a really cool race to participate in as you start in Brooklyn - run through the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, and end up at the World Trade Center sight in Lower Manhattan. And it was even cooler than I expected. It certainly is something to see over 30,000 people bobbing up and down race style as far as you can see in the tunnel and beyond. But it was way more than a race or just a 5k experience for me. The race is in memory of a firefighter from NYC whose name was Stephen Siller, and this year marked the 10 year anniversary. I was happy to support a great cause - their desire is to "Do Good" and "Counter Evil". Their foundation does many things and supports fireman, servicemen fighting terrorists, etc., and basically brings good to this world. So I was thrilled to support them, a...

This is my life. To live. To be present in this moment. Today is my day to live. I can breathe. I can walk upright. My mind is working. (Alright, most of the time.) Although superstar sweats out our lack of budgeting, we are able to pay the rent. Put food on the table. I am gainfully employed in a job that I love to do. I have an incredibly beautiful wife, and if I do say so myself, some pretty cute kids. I enjoy living in my community, and have some great friendships in my neighborhood, in my city, even across this great country. I was reminded of the beauty of life this week when TBrown sent me a photo of their beautiful newborn baby. Just looking at that photo reminded me of the struggles of life, and the great joy that God leads us to in life. In having life to the full. John 10:10 reminds us of this: John 10:10 - 'The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.' This life always seems to lea...

Not often that I feel compelled to just love my wife. (I'm just being honest, gosh.) That is mostly due to the fact that she is a very independent person that isn't needy. But I don't think I thank her enough. I don't think I praise God enough for giving me the perfect wife to meet all my needs and desires in this lifetime. Did I mention that she is Hot with a capital R? Thanks to pastors (yup - it had been plural for a while now) I was encouraged to make sure that with the flexibility of my new schedule to engage with the superstar each week. To calendarize the priority of spending time with her - and just engaging with each other in our lives. We have been doing it for a month or so. Nothing big - just go get a coffee and chat. OK, truth is I do most of the listening. That's just how it is. (Did I mention Terrace Bagels are generally part of the equation?) But today I am reminded of just how much God loves me by spending time thinking about how fortun...

Yesterday indeed was one of the best days I have had in Brooklyn in my whole life. If you follow MSD, you know that doesn't seem all that strong of a statement since we are going into year 3 here, but nonetheless, it was a fantastic day. Thanks to Chuck and Gerardo for coordinating the back end work it takes to get approval from the city, police, etc. to shut down our street and have a 'block party'. They really are a couple of great guys that really have a care for this neighborhood, and it is just a glimpse to me of how us New Yorkers take ownership of our neighborhoods and our streets - and look out for each other. That happened to a certain extent in MI, but it is a much deeper, more profound care here in my eyes. So as we sat on our street, superstar and I were able to make new connections with neighbors we have not yet met, able to deepen connections we already had, and very much enjoy the day with our block. You can see in the photos some of the great things we...

Again as I ran this week, Jesus confirmed to me that He is indeed my workout partner. If I am in an emotional/mental state where I really check out of this world, I can really engage with God on my runs, and it is really cool to worship Him and listen to Him as I sweat and pant and push myself. Unfortunately, the park has a ton of trees down from Hurricane Irene - so typical paths are not quite typical right now. You may think 'oh, i'll run down this trail.' Dead end - tree felled across the path. Turn around, down the next. Nope - felled again. So sometimes when I run, I think - ok, God, which way should I go? A lot like I try to do in my life. Which way? Where do I go? What path do I take? Many times it is really clear to me - many times not so much. So I keep hitting felled trees. And I make the correlation between my run and my life. (If you've followed me for a while, you are saying to yourself - "Um. Capital Duh T$. Capital Duh.") So tru...

As often happens to me, I had somewhat of a revelation as I ran this week. Perhaps it was a result of experiencing two major cataclysmic events in NYC in one week - one being the 5.9 earthquake that happened where our building shook tremendously, and felt quite different than most things we have experienced here - the other being Hurricane Irene which forced us indoors, and fortunately we were not in an evacuation zone like many friends. (It seems almost illogical that I am blogging about those two events even happening here in BKLY - is this apocolyptical? MMMM. Probably not.) So as I ran I felt like God was asking me : "Are you stalking Jesus?" As I pondered that challenge, I ran through the concept of being a stalker. Obsession. Almost illogical in nature. Going after something you probably don't really understand. Trying to obtain something that isn't really obtainable. Yet you have a drive and a passion to pursue it, even in secret, even when others don...

Back in BKLY for a couple weeks now, it feels good to be home. We sat at a light the other day, and supersar said to me: "It feels good to be home." I can't agree with her statement more. It feels good to be home. If feels good to walk down Lexington with pastor. It feels good to catch up with the neighbors, to see alli and liv reengage with their friends, to be at the PIT for sunday gatherings, to stand at the DMV for over 7.5 hours total on two separate dates - ok, maybe that reminds me of spreading the love of Jesus more than the others... I have been doing some excercise sessions trying to get more fit - working on my core. KT has inspired me with her hard work to track my calories again, and I am publically committing to trying to lose "the last 15" - the hardest ones to lose. But I am really going to work at it. (Thanks sis for inspiring me!) But I did go for a run this week in the park - and I am ever greatful for the ability to go over there and ...

Well, it certainly has been way to long since I posted a blog entry, and for that I am regretful. I have so many times in the last couple months felt compelled to blog this, that, or the other, and yet, nothing here to show for it. There is plenty to report, process, and evaluate. -I spent 37 days out of Brooklyn starting July 1st. That was great, magnificent, enjoyable, rewarding, relaxing, and exhilerating. But it was too long for me. At the same time it was all those things, it was also a bit too long for me to be away from my home. Of course, the girls were with me most of that time, so that was another bonus, but this is my hood. My people. My life. I found myself dreaming of being in Brooklyn, in my neighborhood, in my apartment. I am ever thankful that I am able to escape the city for such a stretch, as the city does grind on you, but not sure I am explaining this very well. Truth is, I love my life here in the city, my neighbors, the park, my bed, the pace of life. ...

I forgot to post about Olivia's 'off-broadway debut' with the storypirates , and I will have to post a full thought and pictures soon. But I have committed to journalling daily and reading my bible daily this month, as I mentioned I had 'fallen off the wagon' recently. Whenever I do this, I have one of those 'duh' moments where I realize just how stupid I am, and how simple it is to allow things of this world to take over my life. I am certain that Satan loves that much when we allow that to happen. But as I looked at the beautiful moon last night, as I sat on the stoop with my neighbors lee and nora and mjc on a beautiful night, and as I saw the beauty of my superstar revealed to me the last two days anew (you as a redhead = HOT), as I enjoyed my bike rides in BKLYn, I am reminded anew of how God has planned for us to "have life, and have it to the full." And when we engage in the fullness He has prepared for us, our eyes, ears, and spirit are...

I heard my superstar say this to the girls this week: "Discipline sounds like something that is bad, right? But really, it isn't. It means to push yourself to doing something. Like journalling, reading your bible, spending time with God. That is a spiritual discipline. See how that isn't a bad thing?" For nearly four years now (you can get the full story if you look back to 2007 postings), I have certainly elevated my game in the area of spiritual disciplines. Reading the bible more than I ever did before, truly engaging with what God's desire is for my life, not just when it is convenient, trying to spend time being still and listening to what God has to say to me, and one thing I never really understood why superstar did it - journalling. I really started engaging in my morning "Java with Jesus" when I began to work for my company in the D. I would get up early to drive down Alter Road to the little park where the lake turns into the D river....

Today I ran 3.67 miles - it is a trip around the entire park perimeter - more than I usually run, and a bit challenging for me I might add. But great joy in making this push. As I ran along the west side of the park, I was on the last big upswing of the run. A half mile or so up this hill, and I knew that it would be 'all downhill from there'. This saying is used so often in life "Oh, it's all downhill from here". But I didn't want to run up that last upswing. I wanted it to be downhill. I wanted it to be easy. I wanted it to take less effort. But as I often experience during my runs, God taught me something about "The Last Push". That He could do it for me. That it wouldn't be hard if I depended on Him and not on my own abilities. I see so many correlations in my life right now. The last push of this school year is a bit challenging. The last push of this job position - also challenging. The last push of my potential for impact on...

What a wonderful evening yesterday in the city. After a full day of work and school, I was fortunate enough to have dinner with Mr. Hewitt which involved a splendid beer, a burger bigger than my head at Jackson Hole, and an awesome conversation about life, work, and the journey that is the life of those trying to follow Jesus. (Thanks Mr. Hewitt) Then I got to go to the kallens (my only UWS friends) and listen to Jaya Sankar - an incredible Indian man that continues to truly live out James 1:27 - "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Jaya lives this out at a place called CEM-Christ Evangelical Mission, and you can learn more about the work God has him doing at http://impactindia360.org/ His story of faith and obedience to God is incredible, but for Jaya, it is not about his story, it's about His story. "The God of Light"...

I know that my words are not going to be enough to explain to you what this week has been for me. It is sometimes a challenge to look at the last few years and think about some of the hard things I have had to get through at my work locations. And yet, I do know that some of the hardships have taught me some of the hardest lessons that I have had to learn. But having the opportunity to work for a company that really believes in developing people has been more than I can ever deserve in a job. Yes, they pay me for what I do, and quite well I might add. And I love it. It is hard at times, but I do love it. And this week opened my eyes just to see a very small glimpse of the iceberg that will be my new position. And the iceberg is beautiful, even if I can only see the tip of it. (Let's not diminish the fact that I got to hang with Berman for a bit while I was there, and a fabulous weekend with my Dad - love you Dad.) At this point, my company has asked if I would be willing ...

So much has happened in the last couple of blogless weeks, and I often have said to myself: "Self - I need to blog about that." And haven't found the time to do it. For a few reasons. First - we had Easter Vacation, and a long stretch it was. It was so nice to check out for a while - even though I had much work to do over break, I let that go and enjoyed greatly time with the girls, superstar, and the indoor water park. Then Dad, my nugget cousin and AJ came to visit for a week. It was beyond awesome having Grandpa stay with us - and I think he even enjoyed his time in the big city. A bit different pace than that of his normal day to day life back in MI, but we certainly loved having him visit us. It is hard to believe that it is rapidly approaching two years since we moved away from MI, and it seems like more than that to me because I was actually out in NYC working before the move. But I digress - God continues to put the concept of LOVE in my day to day walk. ...

Easter time. A time to realize just what Jesus came to earth for - to die. For each one of us. This is something that I believe to be true. The world around me does not always support this idea, but I have spent the time in my life looking at the reality of it, and I believe it to be true. This weekend once again, communitasnyc had a Good Friday service, and a Sonrise service in Central Park. During both events, I looked around and prayed for those in attendance. Some I know very well. Some I am getting to know better. Some I don't know at all. But as I prayed for the people that were there, I had an overwhelming sense of just how much I love the people that God has brought into my life. My heart nearly explodes with emotion as I think about people that I am engaged with on a daily basis. Some of the people I am talking about have some tendencies that make me crazy. Some just simply aggravate me (sorry, but it is the truth). But as I prayed for people this weekend, I ...

I returned home to Brooklyn last Thursday, ignited by excitement of what is to come in the future for my job. I was so encouraged to spend time with the aussie this week - just sharing in the fun of engaging with each others lives, in the great task of developing the leaders of tomorrow for our company, and simply being friends to each other. It is my desire that every human being have someone like this at work - that everyone would have someone at work that loves them unconditionally and encourages them to do right. In all areas of their life. Anhwho, I digress. So I am riding in the taxi and coming from the browns and greys of michigan, the thing that screams to me as I ride the BQE are the trees in bloom. Flowering trees. Greens beginning to pour out of each branch. Flowers leaping out of the ground shouting with their beauty and colors and life. Leaping out of the cold ground they have been under all winter. And I felt a sense of blooming inside my soul that began this w...

Well, the last few weeks have put me into a funk of sorts, but it appears that God has understood my funk, and is lifting me out of it. He continues to give me what I need, exactly as I need it, and it is quite obvious at this time that He cares deeply about me. Who knew? I have been challenged once again with not truly knowing what will happen with work for next year. What? You've heard me say that before? For the last five years or so? Correct boy wonder. But this week has once again given me an opportunity to engage with God, away from the turmoil and the noise of the city, which I love. First part of my trip is spending a weekend with my dad. My mom has been gone for almost 6 months now. It seems quick to me, but as my nugget cousin said, it doesn't get easier, just different. So I get to enjoy being with dad. Spending time with him, enjoying each other, eating breakfast at the restaurant, cleaning the garage and having a beer, watching the race, listening to h...

Well, the last few weeks have put me into a funk of sorts, but it appears that God has understood my funk, and is lifting me out of it. He continues to give me what I need, exactly as I need it, and it is quite obvious at this time that He cares deeply about me. Who knew? I have been challenged once again with not truly knowing what will happen with work for next year. What? You've heard me say that before? For the last five years or so? Correct boy wonder. But this week has once again given me an opportunity to engage with God, away from the turmoil and the noise of the city, which I love. First part of my trip is spending a weekend with my dad. My mom has been gone for almost 6 months now. It seems quick to me, but as my nugget cousin said, it doesn't get easier, just different. So I get to enjoy being with dad. Spending time with him, enjoying each other, eating breakfast at the restaurant, cleaning the garage and having a beer, watching the race, listening to h...

I am relatively new to the blogosphere as far as I know. It's been a few years, but not really fully understanding the complexity and accessibility of the world we live in, I am kind of blown away by something I knew was approaching and now has passed. I have a 'sitemeter' on my blog. I don't know if anyone can access the data that is linked to it or not (please feel free to let me know), but there is a lot of information that comes out of it, some that is beyond my level of understanding. But it tracks how many people visit, where they are at, how they click in, how they click out, average time on the site, etc. etc. etc. blahblahblahblah. This week marks over 20,000 visits to MSD. I know a lot of those visits are actually me, but it really blows me away that that many poeple have come to read, to hear, to grow? One of the features on the sitemeter is to look at visitors by World Map. I find it hard to believe that people in Europe or the Middle East have a desir...

As I read my bible today, I was in Phillipians 1, and quite a few things hit me whilst I was reading it. Verse 3 says "I thank my God every time I remember you." And upon finishing that sentence, waves of friends crashed over me from my lifetime - madonnawannabe that I got to hug on 24th street after 18 years, hammy, cdubs, jimmer, mg, berman, swinging D, schramdaddy, BGSUCKS, cay-uh, sick pete, the jerky boys, fishman, iiwii, bb, and so many many more. Waves crashing over me of friendships that God has blessed me with. And I thank God for all of the friendships I have. Those are just a few from the past that I remember hitting me. Then my friends from the present bowl over me. Pastor. Aussie. Rockinthemic. And I thank God for them. For my dad who texts me regularly nowadays. Then I read on in Verse 7 - "It is right fro me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of...