The Jesus Manna.

It is hard for me to say some of the things I am about to say. Not to myself, not to my close and dearest friends, but to the world. I suck. I am a sinner. I choose to do things that are wrong. Why do we do these things? Why if we know in our hearts and our minds and our spirits and all our souls what is right and magnificent and good do we choose to purposefully do the wrong thing? Sin is a vicious thing that breaks us down, hurts us, hurts those around us, builds walls, creates angst, punishes, and creates darkness in this world. Superstar and I have been away from each other (save the 7 minute driving loop around LGA we spent last Saturday as she picked me up from the airport, and I in turn dropped her off to go on her trip to spend some time with her mom and her dad who just had triple bypass surgery) for nearly two weeks now. That is a long time. I'm just sayin. The cravings of our human body are strong. And I am not going to lie, I am craving. Living in NYC, the population is well, let's just say dense. There are many people here. Many women. The proportion of attractive women here is a bit larger I would say than that of, well, R town. It is often that I catch myself amazed at the beauty of women in this world. That God created these creatures of absolutely magnificent beaty. Every feature of a woman's body amazing. And I have to remind myself that the beuty is good, but that I need to be sure I am only looking at the beauty in a way that glorifies God, and doesn't lead me to sin. Next. I SO MUCH am loving my position this year. Many of you know that the last 4 years now have been somewhat crazy as far as me trusting God with my career, and not knowing, and not knowing, and not knowing what the next thing is going to be with my job. Over 3 years now, and still no clarity on what will happen next. And so me being the long term visionary type of person that I am, I struggle with that not knowing part. i have definitely grown in it, and learned that God's plan continues to blow me away with things I never thought possible. Just think, if I had not completely trusted God in this, I would not be working out of our apartment, and never would have full time worked with the aussie. God is so good. And I don't know if I have a sense that this is going to change again next year, my prayer is that this might continue past this year. But this week, as I ran in the park again - God really gave me a word. Manna. And He clearly told me "This is not your manna." And I hear it all the time this week. When I see a beautiful woman - "this is not your manna." When I start to think should I look for another job for next year - 'this is not your manna'. The Israelites were in the desert. Think about that. No water. No food growing. Hot. Suckville. And God sent manna - each day. According to the bible "it came down from heaven" and "tasted like wafers made with honey". I like wafers made with honey - it sounds delicious. God always knows just what we need to survive. And he gives it to us each day. They lived in the desert and ate the manna for 40 years. And then they got tired of it and complained to God to give them MEAT! (that was for Mattsy) They told God what He was giving them wasn't satisfying enough. And I do that ALL THE TIME. What an idiot I am - I should be so satisfied with the 'wafers that taste like honey' shouldn't I? Today, I ran 5 miles around the park - by the by the most I think I have ever run in one shot. (Training for the Turkey Trot 10k in the D - who is in?) And as I ran, I saw a beautiful young woman. Instead of ogling her, I prayed that God would sanctify this piece of manna for His Glorious Riches. What a feeling of love and emotion as I worshipped God in that moment and saw what He sees. And I ran and pondered the manna that God gives me. Each day. Such delicious manna in the middle of this desert we call earth. With the selfish world I try to stay out of, he gives me the manna of love and fills my every need. I pray God that I don't get tired of the manna you have for me. That each day I pick my manna that you have sent me from heaven above, that I enjoy each bite of goodness that you send me. And when I am down, or tired of the manna you give, that you would remind me like you did today in John 6: So they asked him, “What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? 31 Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’[c]” 32 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” 34 “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.” 35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. 36 But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” 41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?” 43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’[d] Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. 47 Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. 50 But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” 52 Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” 53 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. 57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” As we continue to push into the Jesus Creed at communitasnyc, I am challenged by the words of this creed and how this is the manna I need each day in trying to follow Jesus: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength; and love your neighbor as yourself. This manna is delicious. And it comes from heaven. And the taste is so precious and sweet to my soul. Help me Jesus, to live out this creed you have called me to. Help me to pick the manna you have for me today, and to not worry about manna I need for the future. Amen and Amen.