Today, as I thoroughly enjoyed my walk to the school, I pondered quite a few things, as I often do on my walk. Sometimes I pray for people like Hammy, Jimmer, sick pete, mg, cdubs, pastor, beary, and the like. But today, I simply reveled in the fact that God loves me. As I watched the snow melting away, I could see the dirt and garbage left behind throughout my walk. I think of how God melts away our dirt and our garbage. How he longs to be in relationship with us, and how he cleanses our sins from existence. As the sun rose, I couldn't help but think of the verse I read this morning in Matthew 5:45 - "...that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." I pondered if Jesus was walking with me, which of the above categories would HE put me in? I'm pretty sure the unrighteous one at times. But yet he still walks with me and leads my steps. He brings the heat ...
As I continue to try my darndest to follow Jesus each day, I am continuosly encouraged by others that are on the same journey. When I really see someone engaging in the wrestling match that is detaching your selfish self from this world and trying to understand what it really means to follow Jesus, I am encouraged with all my heart, all my mind, and all my soul. I see others in this wrestling match, and I think I see the joy that God sees when someone really engages in the relationship God so desperately desires with each of us. That is really something that is cool to see with your human eyes, and with your spiritual mind. And so as I pondered this this week, I had the notion that doing something part time is not an option if you are following Jesus. You either engage fully, or you are not really doing it right. I see things come out of the nugget, or out of my superstar, or out of the mouth of my daughters, and I see that full time is not optional. I must be present in the mome...
It is a challenge to do a job that is not particularly enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the interaction with many, and hope that somehow I can make a difference. But knowing just how good something could be, and seeing that others are not willing to a) work to that end, b) admit that things are not as could as they could be, and c) allowing mediocrity is perhaps the most bothersome to me. I have resigned myself to not owning all of that. I can only do what I can do - my role is not one where I might be allowed to own that mediocrity - nor am I in a position to change that condition. Did I mention that is a challenge? Personally, I am struggling. The moments I am engaged with people one on one - it is good. But the moments I am exposed to the sheer madness of the rest = Suckville. I wish I was the mayor of Suckville, because then maybe I could do something about it. But for now, I will commit to engaging with people...
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