It is Finished.
This simple phrase 'it is finished' continues to come to me in my quiet time regularly as of late. Sometimes, I feel like God gives me a phrase like this to teach me something, and this one has certainly been going on for a while in the stretch of many months. Today I think I figured out what exactly God has been trying to teach me through this phrase.
My last post mentioned Moons over my Hammy, and today I got to spend some time with him in his home talking about life, the loss of his mother, his children, eternity, and a few other things. (Pretty light, right?) The refreshed thinking of losing a parent, in particular your mother, was not what I would call easy, but it was an enjoyable conversation with someone I consider to be one of my best friends. Even though we live 650 some miles away, I came to the realization of how much love I have for this man that I have really engaged in life with over the last ten years (I am counting having his older daughter in my school when I was an AP). At the end of our conversation, we stood in his kitchen and talked about how much it sucked to lose your mom. That was hard enough, but then he put his arm around me and said something to the effect of 'I really miss you'. It was at that moment I came to the realization of how much love I have for him, and just how much I miss his freindship - and that I might miss him more than he misses me. As we hugged, I wept quietly as I leaned my head on his shoulder. Even now as I sit and write this, my eyes are full and emotions overwhelm me.
All this story to lead up to the quiet time I have now as I sit on the Ridge Ranch. Sitting waiting for God to lead me in my prayer of listening. As 'it is finished' again comes to me, I had a vision. I saw the pain and suffering of losing my mom anew. But it was different. I have almost felt odd that the grief has not appeared to be hard for me. I feel like I have had complete acceptance of my mom's death, even her battle that I suspected from the onset would be quick. The difference in the vision was that I was standing on a beautiful green plateau looking back. Behind me was a huge canyon that I couldn't even see the bottom of, but I knew it was my the canyon of my mom's death. All the pain was down in that canyon. All the unknown answers were down there, and I didn't even need to go back and look to see what they were. All I had to do was to keep facing forward to enjoy the beautiful green, vibrant, living plateau that I was on - and I had a sense that God simply lifted me over the canyon and told me that I didn't need to go back to the canyon. That 'it was finished'. In my vision, as I looked back, I was smiling. I turned and saw the green. And I smiled.
My last post mentioned Moons over my Hammy, and today I got to spend some time with him in his home talking about life, the loss of his mother, his children, eternity, and a few other things. (Pretty light, right?) The refreshed thinking of losing a parent, in particular your mother, was not what I would call easy, but it was an enjoyable conversation with someone I consider to be one of my best friends. Even though we live 650 some miles away, I came to the realization of how much love I have for this man that I have really engaged in life with over the last ten years (I am counting having his older daughter in my school when I was an AP). At the end of our conversation, we stood in his kitchen and talked about how much it sucked to lose your mom. That was hard enough, but then he put his arm around me and said something to the effect of 'I really miss you'. It was at that moment I came to the realization of how much love I have for him, and just how much I miss his freindship - and that I might miss him more than he misses me. As we hugged, I wept quietly as I leaned my head on his shoulder. Even now as I sit and write this, my eyes are full and emotions overwhelm me.
All this story to lead up to the quiet time I have now as I sit on the Ridge Ranch. Sitting waiting for God to lead me in my prayer of listening. As 'it is finished' again comes to me, I had a vision. I saw the pain and suffering of losing my mom anew. But it was different. I have almost felt odd that the grief has not appeared to be hard for me. I feel like I have had complete acceptance of my mom's death, even her battle that I suspected from the onset would be quick. The difference in the vision was that I was standing on a beautiful green plateau looking back. Behind me was a huge canyon that I couldn't even see the bottom of, but I knew it was my the canyon of my mom's death. All the pain was down in that canyon. All the unknown answers were down there, and I didn't even need to go back and look to see what they were. All I had to do was to keep facing forward to enjoy the beautiful green, vibrant, living plateau that I was on - and I had a sense that God simply lifted me over the canyon and told me that I didn't need to go back to the canyon. That 'it was finished'. In my vision, as I looked back, I was smiling. I turned and saw the green. And I smiled.
Comments