**Mustard Seed Distributed**

I love to follow Him. All the days of my life. He takes my pain away, my worries, & my strife. He loves me anyway, in spite of myself. I trust in Him and the Holy Spirit guides me. Covenant is a special word, even more special when you know. I love to follow Him. All the days of my life.

I'm new at this whole Godfather thing. I can tell you it is pretty humbling the honor of being held to a standard of supporting parents in raising a child God's way. What an honor. What a responsibility! I'm having a hard enough time trying to ensure we are doing it with our kids!

I'm not going to lie. Last week was a really tough week for me personally. No major event transpired, no specific events. Superstar was gone to a conference, so I was Mr. Mom all week. (Shout out to mg for being a single dad, and morgan's mom for being a single mom.) Not a big deal, just more work for sure, and I DID enjoy taking my girls to school, serving them, etc. However, this is a painful time at school-more layoffs loom, spirits are down, and it appears that I may not have the influence and impact I once had at rms because of the nyc thing hanging over me. Hammy spoke to me on Friday, and I greatly appreciated his trying to encourage me, give me a pep talk, or whatever you want to call it. He asked me 'are you ok'? I answered no, I'm not. I don't think I ever have given that answer before in my life. And to think, there was no event to get me to that point. Truth be told, it has been about three weeks since I have been with the communitas group

Little did I know when I was 16 years of age that a girl I knew as 'Pickle Head' would become my sister in law and be so impressive in my lifetime as an adult. Do you remember the commercial "Daddy, you gonna eat dat pickow?" That's where the pickle head thing came from. So this week superstar is at a conference at Willow Creek. The star called me fired up-you see it's not just about the kids programs, it's about teaching families to train their kids. So cool that God is working that out. I wonder if the star and I will be a team? I have felt that God could use me to have an impact on men and fathers, so maybe the things are related? ANYwho-without the star around, I am super daddy. Only thing is, I had to go to Lansing for a meeting yesterday, so pickle head took the girls. Matter of fact, she is picking up liv all week for me. Sometimes she reads my blog and encourages me. A lot of times, she and the big pank are inspirations to the kkft. I c

I'm not sure that is a word, but if it is not, it should be. Some incredible things happening for a lot of people in communitas right now. Yankee's house may be rented without even listing it, more irons have been put on the job fire for me, AND I went golfing yesterday. (I love superstar-shout out to my home girl.) Pastor gets a day off, and it is nearly 70 degrees out. It is a great place to be when the only way to get through something is to lean on him. So why don't we? Straight up now tell me.

So I'm pretty sure that I'm not supposed to be eating sugar. I felt like I wasn't supposed to for a long time, and I thought it was God telling me, but I ignored it, and kept eating sugar and sweets. Then I find out that some of the communitas people have given up sweets until all the houses sell. Maybe that's why I was convicted? So I kept ignoring, ignoring, even eating more of them. But at the retreat in DC, I decide I was out on the whole sweets thing. I've been weening myself off of sugar in my coffee, etc., so Now I haven't eaten junk for a week. No cookies (THAT ONE IS HARD), no chocolate, no nothing that is junk or sugar or sweets. Feels pretty good. I also told superstar that when I got back from the conference, I needed to start eating right. So she is packing my lunch so that I eat well at school. And it really feels right to not eat junk. I mean, I have NEVER limited sugar or sweets in my life. I wanted it, I ate it. When I wanted, what I

So much to write about over the last two days; and so here come the chunks: Interview-WOW. Intensity from eight to five, although there were a few breaks throughout the day that gave you a chance to catch your breath. I think I did well, but it was grueling. It was very intense, and I understand why the program is well respected. I did enjoy the process, some really cool committed people. Best part was, they paid for me to come. Never had that happen before. Maybe that is one of the benefits of giving God control of my career path? I should know in three weeks or so. Back up toTuesday, and I asked Pastor about this as well. I'm standing at the hotel (after multiple plane delays and finally getting there) to check in, and the girl is doing the things on the computer. I said to God: 'it would be really cool if you could get me high up on a floor at the top of the hotel.' She says-you're on the twenty-fourth floor sir, blah blah blah. Thanks God. Pastor said he

It was a challenge today fo shizzle. Peaks of intensity, and luckily there were breaks in the intensity throughout the day. I think I did well, and I should know in a few weeks. I could sense the prayers of my peeps pouring over me. Even if I don't get it, that meant a lot to me. I am hopeful, but only God knows...

He lives in me, and I in him. There is no other truth. I love him with my heart of hearts. I can't live without him. I love everything about him. He chose to die for me. So that I might live forever. Anguish, pain, suffering-to show me love. His pain is my salvation. His love is my grace. His compassion is my ministry. His teaching is my protection.

Here I sit at the wellington neat time square. I am here for an interview. I have been thinking lately, I hope this one works out because it appears that all the other irons in the fire have burned out. So I get in my room, check my email-two more positions/opportunities/people trying to connect with me...I'm just saying. Plus I went for a walk. Got some awesome pizza. I'm right near Letterman's theater, and I've always been a huge fan. So I walk over to the theater, and no sooner did I think "I wonder if he ever just comes out the front doors, or if he has a secret entrance...."Before I can finish my thought, he walks out the front door. New York jacket, shorts, funny. So in our men's group, we did a chapter on worship. I have never been much for corporal worship, or worship of any kind for that matter. The book had some suggestions on 'exploring' different types of worship. None of them hit me, but I always used to love to write poems.

If you haven't heard Tim Keller speak, you need to google him now. Pastor from Redeemer in NYC. I've never heard anyone speak the truth clearer and more focused. I had a lot of fun with my communitas chums today. From the time I left this morning until 1 am the next morning, fun galore. I can't tell you all the things, but God certainly is good to me. Surrounding me with fun and men that care. Certainly is nice to be a part of something with a greater purpose than acquiring things, success in a career, or personal pleasures. Do you still not understand?

So today I am leaving to go to a men's retreat in DC. Oh yeah, quite the jetsetter. If I had not been listening to God's promptings in my life I would NOT be going this weekend. So superstar had her girl's club last night, and I decided to not work at all today. I even went to bed early so that I could get up and have breakfaast with my family. So superstar got to sleep in, I got to have breakfast with the girls, get them ready for school, drive them to school, everything while the star still slept. That is not something that has happened, I don't think ever. I enjoyed this morning SO MUCH. So then I come home, have quiet time, read my bible, talk with the star about our walk. NICE. I check my email, and I get one from MC Roomie- this is it . In my bible reading, I am in 2 Samuel, and this morning I read 7-9. In Chapter 7, David is speaking frankly with God and asks Him "Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family that you have brought me this far?

As I sat in our office at home last night, I heard my daughter weeping. She was crying about the move to NYC. She is sad to leave our home. Her school. Her friends. She is the type of kid that is emotional and caring about every single person she ever comes in contact with. And she cares deeply about others, thus, her relationships with others are valued by her greatly. So superstar, myself, and alli sat on the couch and talked through it. We talked about God and this call and what that means to our family. We talked about the new friends we will make. We talked about the visits back to Michigan in the future. And so, that should make it all good, right? Not so much. But I do sense that God will drive our family closer together through this process. Much like I feel that Superstar and I are much closer now than we have ever been. It is my great hope that I can be the Godly man and lead our family and remain undivided as we continue this journey. I read an interesting post

It is easy (for me) to trust the superstar. It is easy for me to trust my close friends. That is just how God created me. Funny that I find it challenging to trust Him sometimes. I know he wants what is best. I know he loves me. I know he is good and graceful... Grace and peace to the world through Jesus.

The nice lady, Joan C., called me yesterday afternoon to work out the date for the 'finalist selection day' interview. It looks like it will be the 16th of April. All day interview (8:00 am to 6:00 pm), and I will know in three weeks or less from that day if I will be asked to become part of their cohort. Very exciting to think that I may start June 21st in Boston for five weeks on this new journey, and some intense training. I do know that God said to me in my quiet time to 'be a leader' and to 'be a leader of schools'. That was clear, and that was the first time He told me first instead of me following my desires. It will be such a cool thing if this is what he has in store for the kkft future. I know that no matter what, I am going to hang on to Him as we swim across the ocean of life. Like the pastor's example in church last week-sometimes we let go of Him and try to swim on our own-and that's when we sink. But He still reaches His hand down

This week meant no working for the daddy. That was really nice, although we didn't have a full week of school at all in March, and now we must go until memorial day weekend without a day off. I know, sounds terrible. I'm just trying to say that I enjoyed the week hanging out with my girls, playing guitar hero, going out with the non-boyfriend/girlfriend couple and the Donald. The house shows today at five, and I'm hopeful that 'this could be it'.....

Just got an email tonight...been asked to go to a 'selection day' which is an all day interview for a training program for leaders. I'm just saying that if you LISTEN. And you OBEY. And you PRAY. Try it for thirty days and include reading at least a book of the bible each day. I will bet you never stop....