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Blogiversary 6.0

It is so hard for me to believe the journey I am on most days of my life. It has been six years since I started this blog. My oldest was just 8 years old. My youngest 5. That seems eons ago. Now both girls are becoming young women, and I couldn't be prouder of how they engage with god and with others in their lives. Superstar and I have been married 17 years, and together for over 20. Time ticks. And now I principal my a$$ off each day trying to serve the families of Flint, Michigan which is not the safest place in the world for children. And I lean in to Jesus for my strength. Some days it is all I can do to get my frame right to engage in the emotional labor it takes to do what I am doing each day. And the thing I am learning at this juncture is that is the ONLY way I can do this. The last six years have meant: giving up a great job; selling the house I built with my dad; moving away from family friends and community; not having any idea from year to year what job I am going to ...

Second Half.

It has been six months since my last post about the 'first half', and as I sit on Thanksgiving Day reflecting on the incredible blessings bestowed upon me, I continue to learn more about God's desire for our lives - and what it means to be a follower of Jesus.  This month, I completed my second half, which was a goal accomplished in running a marathon this year.  I never imagined being able to complete this, but with appropriate training as well as a stop in said training to allow my knee to heal, I was able to run my second in 2:34:11.  Quite a pace for me - and the 'backroads' half marathon was such a different view than the Brooklyn Half.  And the parallels to the changes in the lives for the KKFT are quite interesting.  Every November, I read through the Proverbs with the number of the date - something I have been doing for several years now.  Today:  Proverbs 28:26 - "He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." ...

First Half.

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This week, I had an opportunity to run my 'First Half' Marathon here in BKLY.  "The Brooklyn Half" as it is affectionately known.  13.1 miles is not something I ever thought this  body would be able to (NOR have the desire to) complete.  But it was a personal goal I had this year - to run a marathon.   Of course I will not be going 26.2 miles in one shot, but I thought perhaps I could do two 'halfs' and might even be able to do it this year.  But the half was quite an emotional experience for me, and if you have followed this blog, you have probably read somewhere along the way about my learning to connect 'training' time physically = physical fitness and growth, to 'training' time spiritually = growing in the spirit and trust in God.  But as the KKFT faces moving away from this place I thought might always be my home, this run was something special.  As I ran, I got to reflect on the last 4 years (5 if you include my trips before moving ...

Never Underestimate.

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I continue to see exactly what God has given me an opportunity to be involved in ~ and I am realizing just how important every moment of every day truly matters.  I had a great conversation this week with a communitas chum about really paying attention not just to the work that you do each day - especially if you love what you do - but paying attention to the opportunities you have to interact with the people you have in front of you each day.  This thought was affirmed to me through an experience I had with Aissata just today.  She is in fifth grade at the school I am working at this year (by the by - today is my last day here, and I am quite excited about that).  You can see her in her hijab in the photo - isn't she beautiful? But I have known A for four years now.  She was in the school I helped open four years ago in East New York - and she is something special.  She is a helper and a great kid that always wants what is true and right to happ...

Michigan Bound F Train.

Journey.  Not an ending, but a destination.  Parts unknown.  Challenges.  Triumphs.  Tears. Pain.  Joy.  Happiness.  Discipleship.  Friendship.  Relationships.  Trust and Love.  All things that come to mind as the next leg of this journey takes hold of myself and the KKFT.  We have been called to Brooklyn to help start a church here -communitasnyc-  and we have learned so much.  Mostly, what it is to be in the will of God.  And that is a challenge.  Following Jesus is not what I feel the american church has led us all to believe.  That if you believe in God and Jesus, that He will give you all you ask, life will be happy, and all your dreams will come true.  If you want to be a loser - do this - follow Jesus' plan for your life.  You must give Him everything if you are to do that.  All.  Everything.  And that my friends is not an easy thing to do.  But it can bring yo...

Will you cross this bridge for me?

PHEW.  A lot of life happening between here and there.  Have not taken the time to blog as of late - and I apologize to myself for that.  Blogging has been a tremendous help for me to process life, love, following Jesus, and the world around me.  And it is good. And here I sit, in Bed-Sty, Brooklyn, NY.  All of the world crashing around me.  Not in a negative sense, but in a sense that the world never stops.  Like waves crashing on a beach.  They just keep coming.  Some kind of cosmic force (that would be God) maintaining motion in the world around me.  And each day is a gift.  A gift that I have a strong desire to cherish more and more.  And it is good. But the last few weeks (dare I say years) have brought into question the trajectory of the KKFT, my career, my walk with Jesus, and life in general.  Clearly, when God calls us to follow, it is not to a comfortable, suburban, self-serving lifestyle.  And I have l...

This is my neighborhood.

A midst all the chaos of everyday life, I have been enjoying having the Nini girls here this weekend - so happy that they came to visit our fair city, and I am just enjoying the time with them.  I can't help but think of years ago, the girls being just infants, or 2/3 years old running around, etc.  And now they are adults that bring joy to me.  But I digress. I had the opportunity yesterday to watch God unpack my neighborhood to me in a whole new way.  One of the coolest experiences I have had here in BKLY for certain.  You see, Harold gave me a bike rack for my bike, which was pretty exciting to me.  But I needed a washer to make it work, and we needed some light bulbs.  It was a beautiful crisp day yesterday, so I told my superstar I was going to take a walk to my favorite little hardware store.  Awesomeness.  And so I grab my earbuds and head out.  I get a few blocks from our apartment, and I notice an elderly Hispanic wo...

It's easy to get lost here....

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Ahhhh.  Florida.  Vacation.  Warm sun.  Palm Trees.  Family time.  Games with Grandma and Grandpa.  Doing a puzzle.  Reading the first fiction book I think I have read in years.  Running every day.  Beach.  Did I mention palm trees? This may have been the best vacation ever.  Maybe.  If not, pretty darn close.  But just as in life, all good things must come to an end.  And we return to Brooklyn.  Still unclear on what God has for the KKFT next.  It certainly seems that He continues to push my heart to service.  Serve.  Serving.  I feel like I have learned a lot over the last five years in this area.  And upon my return to BKLY, I said hello to more people in our neighborhood - which is  not the norm by the by - and felt a sense of wonder.  Has God changed his position on our call here?  So far, I would say no.  But I am open to His promptings. And lately, his...

Teach me.

This year, my career path seems to be something God is using to teach me....well....teach me something.  I'm not yet clear on what it is that He is trying to teach me, but I do know whatever it is - it is good.  Superstar got out the "God Guides" book this week (by Mary Geegh), and I feel like that was God prodding me in such a fine fashion.  It really blows me away that I get to be superstar's husband - this week she also wrote me a love letter.  Not the kind of mushy gushy thing you might think of as you hear the term love letter, but the letter was another clear message to me from God about our marriage, just how special she is, and that He is right in the middle of not only our marriage, but all we are engaged in in our lives.  If you haven't read God Guides, well, you need to.  It is stories collected from Mary whilst she served the kingdom in India - all stories about listening prayer.  As superstar and I felt called to nyc, we used this book as...

surrender.

As the drama of this life continues to unfold, God continues to ask me to surrender.  More.  Each Day.  ALL.  What is it that prevents us from such surrender?  What is it that we think we need to do/have/experience/whatever?  As I learn more about following Jesus, I learn more and more about surrender.  I learn that I need to step aside and let Him be the lead.  I must sacrifice my own desires in lieu of His.  I must not think in terms of this world, but in the heavenly realms, which - by the by - I know little.  I must not worry.  Or fret.  Or belittle the challenges I face.  I must charge on for the prize which I know has been set before me.  I must trudge across the frozen tundra of this world to get to the tropical island.  I must wade through the feces of darkness and lies and misconceptions of truth in order to gain access to His word that cleanses me of all sin.  I must force myself to put my desires...

so afraid.

Matthew 8:26: "He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" This is what Jesus said to his disciples when they were in a boat, and the storm was most likely nearly capsizing them - nearing death.  No, I am not on a boat, nor did I experience a near capsizing activity.  But as you may well know, I do not know where my career is heading.  It is hard to think about some days.  As one who loves the vision of the future, and idealizing the reality that will come to be, it is really hard for me to not know what I might be doing come July 1.  The last several years have been this same reality - not knowing what is to come.  And I can honestly say that more often than not, I have been perfectly good with that.  (Save a few trying moments, days, seasons - I'm not perfect!)  But this time seems to be more of a challenge for me.  I have invested in applying, interviewing, asking, seeking, knocking, navigating, networking, insert other wo...

Epilogue

Happy 2013.  I suppose the Mayans were wrong at this point....or they simply ran out of stone to carve for the calendar.  Either way, we're in 2013.  And coming off a break, I really enjoyed spending some down time with family and friends, particularly my conversation with my superstar to bring in the new year thinking of the past, talking of the present, and looking to the new year as another opportunity.  I sit and write today - knowing that 175 days from today, I will not have a job, or so it seems.  And I do not know what that means in so many ways.  Where will I find a job?  Where will we live?  Will the girls be at BP - and what a blessing that has been.?  Will we stay in our apartment?  Brooklyn?  New York?  Don't know.  But as I walked to the train this morning praying as I do each day, the word epilogue kept coming to me.  What will be your epilogue?  Here is the definition: 1- a speech, usually in vers...