Will you cross this bridge for me?
PHEW. A lot of life happening between here and there. Have not taken the time to blog as of late - and I apologize to myself for that. Blogging has been a tremendous help for me to process life, love, following Jesus, and the world around me. And it is good.
And here I sit, in Bed-Sty, Brooklyn, NY. All of the world crashing around me. Not in a negative sense, but in a sense that the world never stops. Like waves crashing on a beach. They just keep coming. Some kind of cosmic force (that would be God) maintaining motion in the world around me. And each day is a gift. A gift that I have a strong desire to cherish more and more. And it is good.
But the last few weeks (dare I say years) have brought into question the trajectory of the KKFT, my career, my walk with Jesus, and life in general. Clearly, when God calls us to follow, it is not to a comfortable, suburban, self-serving lifestyle. And I have learned to embrace the angst of truly trying to follow Jesus. It is not easy. I feel like we have all been lied to by 'the church' ~ that following God would somehow make your life easy, comfortable, and bring you wealth both monetary and spiritual. But I continue to learn that if I am to truly follow Jesus, I must give myself up each day. Each moment. Each situation. And so I have come to just another crux. I do feel like the last week has given me an opportunity for some clarity around a big rock that I need to move, and the next few weeks will certainly allow me to turn the focus dial on what I think God is calling me to do. It is not what I would choose. It is not something my heart of hearts desires. But I feel as if God is showing me something I need to do, and it will be uncomfortable. It is exhilarating to think about what that will mean for me, my superstar, and the KKFT. But it will be a challenge to say the least. It will bring pain and hurt. It will bring sorrow and joy. And as I ran this beautiful city yesterday afternoon, I pondered a vision I had in my quiet time Sunday morning where I was asking God to reveal His perfect and pleasing will to me. And the vision was a bridge. Much like a bridge I know in Prospect Park that I have crossed or gone under many times. And as I saw this bridge in my vision, I felt as if God asked me: "Will you cross this bridge for me?"
The next few weeks will bring into focus just what is on the other side of this bridge He is asking me to cross, and I think I may already have a certain clarity about it. And I trust God's will for my life. More than my own desires. More than the pursuits that I would choose to take. And it is good.
And here I sit, in Bed-Sty, Brooklyn, NY. All of the world crashing around me. Not in a negative sense, but in a sense that the world never stops. Like waves crashing on a beach. They just keep coming. Some kind of cosmic force (that would be God) maintaining motion in the world around me. And each day is a gift. A gift that I have a strong desire to cherish more and more. And it is good.
But the last few weeks (dare I say years) have brought into question the trajectory of the KKFT, my career, my walk with Jesus, and life in general. Clearly, when God calls us to follow, it is not to a comfortable, suburban, self-serving lifestyle. And I have learned to embrace the angst of truly trying to follow Jesus. It is not easy. I feel like we have all been lied to by 'the church' ~ that following God would somehow make your life easy, comfortable, and bring you wealth both monetary and spiritual. But I continue to learn that if I am to truly follow Jesus, I must give myself up each day. Each moment. Each situation. And so I have come to just another crux. I do feel like the last week has given me an opportunity for some clarity around a big rock that I need to move, and the next few weeks will certainly allow me to turn the focus dial on what I think God is calling me to do. It is not what I would choose. It is not something my heart of hearts desires. But I feel as if God is showing me something I need to do, and it will be uncomfortable. It is exhilarating to think about what that will mean for me, my superstar, and the KKFT. But it will be a challenge to say the least. It will bring pain and hurt. It will bring sorrow and joy. And as I ran this beautiful city yesterday afternoon, I pondered a vision I had in my quiet time Sunday morning where I was asking God to reveal His perfect and pleasing will to me. And the vision was a bridge. Much like a bridge I know in Prospect Park that I have crossed or gone under many times. And as I saw this bridge in my vision, I felt as if God asked me: "Will you cross this bridge for me?"
The next few weeks will bring into focus just what is on the other side of this bridge He is asking me to cross, and I think I may already have a certain clarity about it. And I trust God's will for my life. More than my own desires. More than the pursuits that I would choose to take. And it is good.
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