Believing Unbelieving

As I spend time in nyc this week, I find myself questioning God placing me here. I walk through Union Square, where for the first time I knew Jesus was in my presence loving me, and I look around at all the people that are entirely different from me. I have the fleeting thought-"What am I doing here?" It wasn't crazy questioning of God's plan, it was simply a simple question-What is going on, and why am I here? T$ in the heart of the greatest city on earth?

And for a few moments, I am not believing this is really happening. I am not believing our house is sold. I am not believing that I have an incredible job in this city. I am not believing that God could actually use my loser self. I am not believing that I am walking to meet j-no to hone in on an apartment for our family to make our home. And so my phone rings. The superstar. The young man that is buying our house came to the home inspection. Brought his posse. Friends, realtor, peeps. Star got to talk to him. Did I mention that she is the one that showed the house to him initially? They exchange numbers. He calls her later and basically tells her-look, I'm buying this house. Don't worry about the deal. Don't worry about the loan. This is my house now. It's going to happen. If you guys need more time to get out, fine, I can stay with my parents longer, and I'm not worried about you paying me if it is after closing. I'm buying your house.

This is just Jesus sending me a message. I got you. It's mine. I will take care of you. Yesterday morning I read Mark 9, and I am the guy in the story whose son is possessed and the disciples can't get the demon out. The guy asks Jesus...."If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." I can see Jesus' face as he responds: "If you can?" Then he tells the man everything is possible for him who believes. Here's where I show up in the story. The man responds: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" I need to keep asking Jesus to help me overcome my unbelief in almost every single area of my life. Why do we need help with our unbelief?

Comments

Morgan's Mom said…
OH my gosh I have goosebumps for you and your family!! Everything will fall into place it has to.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
April 7, 2009 at 8:34 AM
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