This moment.

I have been well pleased with life as of late. My life is something to celebrate. God has given me the best wife in the world. I am blown away each day with how she lives her life. God has been pressing into me 'SERVE' for a few months now, and I am still not really clear why He continuously gives me this message. Boy, that sentence sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? I know God wants us to serve. He wants us to serve Him first. He wants us to then serve others. Before doing any kind of serving of our own needs and desires. And my superstar is a model of that. She serves from the moment she wakes until the moment she lays down. Or maybe until it is time to have ice cream? And God reminded me yesterday that superstar is a good model to follow. That I should be serving others before I get to my needs. And yet, yesterday I felt like Satan was tricking me into thinking my needs and desires should come first. With a lot of unknown in jobs and what is going on with some possible opportunities, I tend to want to know right away, and not be patient in His timing. And I was discouraged yesterday. Nothing big, just uncomfortable in the ongoing 'unresolved' nature of what is going on in my life right now. And I am typically an optimist, so it was wearing on me. But I continue to try to trust in Him. He continues to teach me through the word. In my quiet time I have taken each day this year to read the bible and journal. He knows my desires before I can voice them or pen them. And my desire is His will in my life - nothing more. As we looked at the final act of the story formed way last night in our small group - the hope I have in eternity with Him, no pain, no sorrow, new heaven, new earth = it really is overwhelming to consider the fact that this is why He came. To renew, strengthen. To change the outcome. Beauty, really. And here I sit, trying to figure out something that doesn't need figuring. He is with me. In all I do. Always. He guides me. His gift of the Holy Spirit to teach us all things. To lead us to His plan. To Him. What a gift! And I wait upon the Lord. I ask forgiveness to believe in my disbelief. That His power and glory might shine upon me in new ways today. This moment. And forever. Amen.

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