**Mustard Seed Distributed**

Here I sit, by the pool, in Venice, Florida. Sun shining, warm breeze, palm trees, 70 something. Beautiful. I am so fortunate to be able to vacation with my family, and even more fortunate that my in law's have a great place we can stay. I am so happy that Harold worked so hard all his life, and that now he enjoys each day in the sun during the winters. He worked 80 hours a week for years and years and now he reaps the benefits. And so do we. Got to spend an afternoon with the panks as they headed out, and we headed in. Day at the beach. Swimming in the pool. Watching the sunset. Dinner and a play with superstar last night. (Did I mention Chick-Fil-A for dinner on the way down and Waffle House for breakfast? mmmmmmmmm) And I get to run and exercise each day in the warmth. As I ran today, I spent time praising God for all of the above mentioned things. Danny Cox music brings joy to my heart from God. Immediate engagement with the holy spirit when I listen to it. An...

Following Jesus is hard to do. There are days and moments where I shout to God : "I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!" I know that is what He wants me to do. I got that part, broseph. But why is it so difficulut to love people? For me, it is particularly the case to try to love people without common sense. I can completely and unconditionally love people that have made mistakes, people that hurt others, people that do wrong. But people that have not a shred of common sense really bother me -- call them stupid people if you want to, because that's what I catch myself doing. So God help me. I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today the weather is so unbelievable, it brings joy to my heart that the warm breeze and the sunshine are warming my skin. After a wonderful morning on the lanai/terrace/deck/balcony/outdoor space/thingy drinking coffee and reading the bible, and having the 'combo' pancakes with both banana and chocolate chips with a side of bacon (superstar rules), I decided to go for a long bike ride. I was inspired by the art teacher that told me he did one this week that made his legs tired. So I donned the ipod, the helmet, and the bike. Thanks to my birthday money from my mommy last year, I can tell you my ride was 21.16 miles long, and I had an average speed of 10.6 miles per hour. It was a glorious ride. Through downtown brooklyn. Across the Brooklyn Bridge. Over to the west side. Up the bike path to the Intrepid. 10 miles there, 10 back-more or less. What beauty there is in this city. Beautiful buildings. Streets. People. Parks. Rivers. Trees. Children. Birds. Boats...

Some of you have sent me encouragement, called me, or elevated your prayer game for our family this week. Whatever it was that you did, I thank you for it. Please know that although the post was entitled "Shattered Dreams", I was never in an emotional place where I really felt that completely. It was more of a tongue in cheek response, if you know what I'm saying. Today, I am well and renewed in my efforts to shine light in this world. It only took me about 48 hours or so to make that turn around, and I am certain that God has renewed my ability to live in this world, even in the midst of disappointment. I was asked by m and m to write a letter of encouragement to my friend JB. It brought tears to my eyes as I realized what it meant to be asked to do this for JB as she heads off to a retreat weekend. If you could, pray for both JB, MM, and CB this weekend. That God would overwhelm all of them with his love and grace. Anywho-I came to the realization of what these...

Well, official word came today that the position at a certain school in Brooklyn is not going to be an option. The board has some type of disagreement amongst themselves, and don't want to approve me, and have something bad happen with me at the helm, and then have someone do the 'I told you so'. I am trying not to be angry now. I am not perfect, but I can tell you that the board will most likely not find another candidate that will be as committed or hard working as I hoped to be for them. However, I do sense that perhaps God is saving me from some bad events in the future here. Although the school is nearly in my neighborhood, and although I have spent so much time and energy investigating the neighborhood, the community, and the like, perhaps there is somewhere else I need to be. I wish it would have been a simple process. One interview. No thank you, "NEXT." That could have happened in November, and I probably would not have as much heart invested int...

And as the week rolls by, I still have not heard yet from the board to find out if they approve me as their candidate. I would be lying if I told you that it has been an easy week. I have been pleading with God to finalize this. Either way, I am fine. I really have been asking Him to show me what it is that He wants me to learn from this. Asking. And Asking. And Asking. Is there something here that I am missing? Is there something here that You need me to learn? Am I in the right place? The right job? The right school? The right apartment? The right neighborhood? These have not been thoughts of doubt, or discouragement in where we are. I am really just trying to press into these questions to try to hear from God, and ask for guidance and discernment in all areas of my life. So the answer I continue to hear from God is the title of this post: JESUS. FOCUS ON JESUS. What a great reminder to me that my focus should not be on all of these worldly things, but on Him. On...

This was the jist of the day yesterday. I was scheduled to meet with the board last night for the 'final reinterview'. I get a call at about 11:30 ish and I asks if I knew that the meeting was cancelled. "No." So I says alright, I'll find out because I just got an email that it's cancelled. I'm literally laughing at this point, because at first I thought he was messing with me. He calls back, it is cancelled, but he needs to find out more. No news for hours. So at first, I'm just laughing about it. Then I start to actually think about and process it. Now I'm getting mad. So I am supposed to meet pastor after the meeting in the city. I call and say let's meet earlier. Throughout the afternoon I prayed a bunch just asking OK, God, what is going on here? Is this not for me? Am I doing something wrong? And I tell Him I know you have power over everything, so if you could, just make this happen today. Don't delay it anymore. Yo...

The temperature here in BKLY (caught up in my eye) has been over 50 for a few days in a row now. What a reminder of how much the outdoors mean to us (me?)in our daily lives. I have been able to step out onto our terrace (lanai? deck? platform? what other names do you have for it?) without shoes or a coat and enjoy the air of our neighborhood without fear of frostbite or snow piling onto me. As I stepped out yesterday, I was instantly reminded of the quiet moments I have had with God on our ________, and instantly couldn't wait for the weather to be warm enough to do it each day. The sun is not quite up when I leave for school in the morning, but it certainly is getting more and more light each morning. And with the time change coming, I know it will be quiet eastern sunrises to greet me each morning very soon. And I can't wait to enjoy them. And dinner on the terrace for the kkft. The girls even did their homework out there yesterday. And thanks to the Gonzkelly out...

One of the last questions that Jesus asked his disciples while he was still here on earth was right after Jesus washed their feet. He asked them 'Do you understand what I have done for you?' This question was past tense, present tense, and future tense all wrapped into a puzzle surrounded by an enigma. Today, I grapple with the fact that what Jesus did for me is really unbelievable. He came to lower himself as creator of the universe and serve me so that I could live in relationship with the God that loves us. Of course I don't understand that because it is indescribable. I imagine myself empathizing with the disciples because at the time, they didn't really know what Jesus was trying to teach them. And even now, knowing what Jesus did, it is hard for me to truly comprehend what He did for me. But I am thankful. I am full of praise for Jesus washing my feet for me - metaphorically speaking - by washing my sin. By taking my sin upon his shoulders on the cross. ...

After much work in attempting to acquire a full time job in NYC, I finally did obtain a position with my current company. It seems to me to be a perfect fit for all involved. But I am still awaiting yet another meeting with the school board that will happen this Tuesday night at 6pm. I have met with a couple of groups from the board, but this Tuesday, I am told that they will once again 'reinterview' me with the entire board. The purpose of the meeting is for the board to decide yeah or nay for me as the principal of the school in question. I am thinking that I started this job search in October of 2007. Yes, indeed, superstar just confirmed that for me. After many interviews, phone calls, visits, exams, moving forward in the process emails, no thank you letters, etc., I did obtain my current position, and that was after 10 months of pursuit. After about 7 months or so working in the D, I was back and forth helping another principal with opening her school. And 3 month...

title="Wordle: mseed1"> src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/1733054/mseed1" alt="Wordle: mseed1" style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd"> If you click on the link above, you will see the latest wordle of this blog. I haven't done that in a while, and I think it is a really cool thing to do with text or websites to see what jumps off the page. I find it interesting that God landed at the top of this one, and if you look closer, you can see MUCH LOVE sitting sideways. That is how I feel today. That God has much love for me. I am overwhelmed by his love, particularly since I am a sinner and blatantly walk away from Him in my selfish ways. He still loves me. He created me for great things. I look around me and see people that don't know that every day everywhere that I am in this great city. I see people that God loves so much hurting from the pain of this world, including myself. I see wonderful people lov...