**Mustard Seed Distributed**

Here I am. Standing on a Train. Because the pregnant woman needs a seat. Watching God go by. I stand among the nations. Graffiti runs through my head. Underground, I serve others first. It is hard. It is a challenge. But I stand on this Train. I stand because of the Spirit that is within me. Standing on a Train. Here I am.

This post is something I debated on putting up-here's why. I don't post this to honk my own horn. I don't post this to say "look at me". I post this to say "look at Jesus". If you have read this blog from the beginning, or you have had personal contact with me over the last year and a half, you know that God has transformed me -much like Saul. He persecuted, executed, and chastised Christians. I didn't go that far, but I certainly was not following Jesus. Then, one beautiful day in summer, I felt God nudging me, and I listened. I risked my own comfort, acceptance from others, and quite frankly, my own sanity. I have tried to live each day since then listening to God's guidance through the Holy Spirit, which by the by, will happen if you seek Him and take the time to be still and know that He is God. Here is an unexpected email I recieved from sick pete-and God has blessed me with the words below: You know, I had no idea what I was getti...

I am really bumbed out and a bit frustrated and a smidge angry. I wrote a huge post while I was on the plane, saved it as a word document so I could copy and paste. Since I got to nyc, I have been having much difficulty with my computer, my files, the network at work, etc. SO I will post that one later. Also had many other inclings to post things, but couldn't get on, broke this, that, etc. But I have food to eat and a place to sleep, so I'll be ok. Here are some topics you may want to hear more on-just let me know: Taxi drivers-This is a most interesting group, and I now have some interesting stories about cabbies. Homeless people-It is neat to be able to bring food to them, sit with them, and share a meal. Jogging in Central Park is one of the most incredible things I have experienced. God has certainly called me to be here. Waking up to look out your window at this city, and then going to sleep after looking out your window at this great city is something that will fore...

This is what I feel like God is saying to me today. Just take your time. Why do you rush me? Why don't you take your time and enjoy the ride. Or something like that. As I once again spend time in the city I already love, I look around and honestly can't believe that I get to move here. This is an incredible place, and I really foresee this as an incredible place to raise our kids. I can't even count how many languages I hear on a daily basis here. I can't number the amount of different cultures I get to see and experience while I move about the city with the other 10 million or so each day. I don't know where we are going to live. I don't know how we will figure that out. I don't know where my kids are going to go to school. I don't know what grocery store we are going to shop at. I don't know if I will be able to afford vacations. I am uncertain how to navigate leading a family through the midst of a complete transformation of our lives...

So, much ado about nothing. I did really enjoy looking for a new place to live with our family, and I thought it was going to happen. But it didn't. For some reason, this didn't work out. It was hard to get very excited about it, then start to see the excitement unravel, then to see that this was not going to be the place for us. There is still an outside possibility, but I think God is trying to show us something here. What? I don't know. I did enjoy a comment from the pirate pastor-'you didn't think you were going to get off that easy on finding an apartment, did you? I mean, look how long it took you to get this job? How long did it take you to sell your house?' And he's right. What am I missing here? What is it that I need to learn? More on patience? More on trust? More on listening to God? I'm not sure. But I am sure that God cares where our family lives, and I will trust in Him-even when it is really, really hard. Even when I...

Looking for an apartment in New York City can be an overwhelming task to say the least. When someone says the phrase: "There are millions of choices", they actually mean it. Communitas is in Manhattan, and we know that we have been called to this city to be a part of this church. All the roles and reasons have not completely been revealed to us, but we do know that God has an incredible plan for our entire family in this venture of trust and faith. That much, we know. From the very beginning, trust has been a critical factor for my journey in particular down this road to NYC. God repeatedly has asked me: "Will you trust me?" The more I have pressed into that very small question, the more I have come to realize that the more I trust Him, His plan, His teachings, and His way, the more easy life becomes for me to see opportunities to serve others, and the easier it is to trust Him with everything. The more I trust His grace, His peace, and His love, the easier ...

For 39 years now (yup, 40 is coming), I have heard people say 'Happy Easter' many times. Why, I have even said it so many times. I even said it today to most of the people that I interacted with, why I think I even said it to our Muslim cab driver that provided the kkft an easy ride to the sonrise service in Central park that began at 7 am. By the by, I have often sensed the presence of Jesus in this gret city, but this morning, Jesus again stormed my soul and overwhelmed me with the fact that He came to live on this earth, he taught us how God wants us to live, he went to the cross and took the weight of the world's sin upon himself, so that God's covenant, new and holy, might be complete. He was beaten, spit on, squashed like a rose petal, and hung on the cross bleeding until he could not breathe anymore. He felt the separation from his creator that he never experienced before, simply so that we might be able to experience the love and grace God wants us to forev...

How will I know? As I sit and ponder this question, Jesus' sacrifices blow through my limited brain cells. There is nothing good but God Jesus told us, and yet we call this Good Friday. The good part is that Jesus loved us so much that he bore the sin of the world on his shoulders and separated himself from God for our sin. Overwhelming to contemplate, and beyond our comprehension as far as I'm concerned. Everyone always wants to talk about the love and grace of Jesus and God, but seriously consider what Jesus did on this day over 2000 years ago. He took on the beatings, spittings, hair pulling, blood letting, did I mention the beatings? All so that we would fulfill the new covenant with our creator. All so we could experience and understand the love that God meant for us. Spend some quiet time today considering the weightiness of that suffering for YOU. Anyway-How will I know? Where to live in NYC? What neighborhood God wants us in? Which apartment to sign up for? ...

As I spend time in nyc this week, I find myself questioning God placing me here. I walk through Union Square, where for the first time I knew Jesus was in my presence loving me, and I look around at all the people that are entirely different from me. I have the fleeting thought-"What am I doing here?" It wasn't crazy questioning of God's plan, it was simply a simple question-What is going on, and why am I here? T$ in the heart of the greatest city on earth? And for a few moments, I am not believing this is really happening. I am not believing our house is sold. I am not believing that I have an incredible job in this city. I am not believing that God could actually use my loser self. I am not believing that I am walking to meet j-no to hone in on an apartment for our family to make our home. And so my phone rings. The superstar. The young man that is buying our house came to the home inspection. Brought his posse. Friends, realtor, peeps. Star got to tal...

Tomorrow I will board a plane for my first official trip to NYC in my new role for the 09/10 school year. This week, I was told by recruiter lady what my salary will be in my new position. God continues to bless the kkft in this journey as we try each day to trust His plan more, and our plan less. This salary will allow us to be contributors to communitas, and provide our family with at least what we feel will be a good quality of life living in the city somewhere. It is exciting to board a plane and make my way to my new home, if only for a few days. It is exciting to be on a journey to the city God has called me to, and it is exciting to think of the days ahead, the opportunities to serve His purpose, the interactions with other humans and represent Jesus in a city that is broken and underserved in many ways according to God's plan. It is also excrutiating to try to ascertain the steps to get there. What to sell, what to keep, when to go, what to say, who to ask, what to mo...