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Showing posts from January, 2013

surrender.

As the drama of this life continues to unfold, God continues to ask me to surrender.  More.  Each Day.  ALL.  What is it that prevents us from such surrender?  What is it that we think we need to do/have/experience/whatever?  As I learn more about following Jesus, I learn more and more about surrender.  I learn that I need to step aside and let Him be the lead.  I must sacrifice my own desires in lieu of His.  I must not think in terms of this world, but in the heavenly realms, which - by the by - I know little.  I must not worry.  Or fret.  Or belittle the challenges I face.  I must charge on for the prize which I know has been set before me.  I must trudge across the frozen tundra of this world to get to the tropical island.  I must wade through the feces of darkness and lies and misconceptions of truth in order to gain access to His word that cleanses me of all sin.  I must force myself to put my desires...

so afraid.

Matthew 8:26: "He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" This is what Jesus said to his disciples when they were in a boat, and the storm was most likely nearly capsizing them - nearing death.  No, I am not on a boat, nor did I experience a near capsizing activity.  But as you may well know, I do not know where my career is heading.  It is hard to think about some days.  As one who loves the vision of the future, and idealizing the reality that will come to be, it is really hard for me to not know what I might be doing come July 1.  The last several years have been this same reality - not knowing what is to come.  And I can honestly say that more often than not, I have been perfectly good with that.  (Save a few trying moments, days, seasons - I'm not perfect!)  But this time seems to be more of a challenge for me.  I have invested in applying, interviewing, asking, seeking, knocking, navigating, networking, insert other wo...

Epilogue

Happy 2013.  I suppose the Mayans were wrong at this point....or they simply ran out of stone to carve for the calendar.  Either way, we're in 2013.  And coming off a break, I really enjoyed spending some down time with family and friends, particularly my conversation with my superstar to bring in the new year thinking of the past, talking of the present, and looking to the new year as another opportunity.  I sit and write today - knowing that 175 days from today, I will not have a job, or so it seems.  And I do not know what that means in so many ways.  Where will I find a job?  Where will we live?  Will the girls be at BP - and what a blessing that has been.?  Will we stay in our apartment?  Brooklyn?  New York?  Don't know.  But as I walked to the train this morning praying as I do each day, the word epilogue kept coming to me.  What will be your epilogue?  Here is the definition: 1- a speech, usually in vers...